Monday, 02 October 2006 By Chato
Dear Ricky, my violin strings are broken
and I am too broke to afford a new set.

Should I just bash a pensioner and steal some
of their pension, or should I just squeeze one
of the Repellent Rodent's withered testicles
if I wish to hear a high "C" note?

I asked Professor Saunders of the IPA (Institute
of Parasitic Arseholes) and he just said,
"get a job you bludger!".
So I am now quite desperate.

I have come to trust your sensitive and human
approach to serious problems and I look forward
to your usual wise advice.
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