Thursday, 10 May 2007 By Stiffed Reporter

Forget the bribes and bluster; Oz Treasurer Peter Costello has once again let down dinky-di dick pullers by refusing to fulfil his 2004 election promise to take the GST off tissues.


Aussie masturbators were hoping this year would be different, with a desperate Costello handing out cash left, right, and center, in an attempt to catch up with Labour leader Kevin Rudd in the polls. But once again, “Iceberg” Costello has failed to fulfil his promise to this key electoral constituency.

AMA (Australian Masturbators Association) President Tony Delonzo vented his anger to XenoxNews:
"There has been continuing growth of the Internet and take up of broadband this year. And of course this has led to a spurt in the rate of self-pleasing in Australia. But for the average Aussie dick twanger Costello’s latest budget has been a flop."

A quick survey of the Xenox News office found that other auto-ejaculators were even more forthright.

Frankie B said: “I’m sick of having to scrimp with the tissues to clean up my mess. And so is my wife. It’s time for Costello to put up or shut up!”

Another boldly stated that: “I'm warning them; I pull my dick and I vote!”


“I pull my dick and I vote!”


Some political observers believe that o­ne hope for Aussie dick pullers is that if the Government polling numbers continue to trail the opposition, pressure could be applied to Costello’s boss, and Australia’s top wanker, PM John Howard. Maybe, they say, he will change his mind and do the right thing by the penis punishers.

However, others such as the AMA boss, are talking about approaching the other side:
“Most wankers have been staunch Liberal party supporters, but even we have an end to our patience. Rudd looks like a guy who has enjoyed some solitary time in front of the computer, maybe he will back our call to remove the GST from tissues.”

One thing is for sure, Aussie wankers are set to play an important role in this years election.
As o­ne told Xenox News; “This year we are coming out of the study!”

Star InactiveStar InactiveStar InactiveStar InactiveStar Inactive