XENOXNEWS AUSTRALIA DAY MESSAGE TO CATCH THE FIRE MINISTRIES

A teacher asks her class of 3rd graders to use the word "fascinate" in a
sentence. She calls on a small boy sitting in the front row.
"I saw an air show. And it was very fascinating."
"Good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate,' not 'fascinating.'" She then calls on a girl sitting off to the left.
"I saw some monkeys. They were very fascinating."
"Good, but I wanted you to use the world 'fascinate,' not 'fascinating.'"
Billy's hand shoots up into the air and she calls on him.
"Teacher, teacher! I got one!"
"Go ahead, Billy."
"My sister's shirt has ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fascinate."

Wife comes home and say's to hubby
" Doctor said i have tit's and ass like an 18yr old ".
Hubby said " What did he say about your 50yr old cunt "?
Wife replies " He didn't mention you "

A koala is sitting up a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says, "Hey Koala !What are you doing?"
The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they burn a few. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?" The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says " Hey you!" So the koala looks down at him and says:"Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude. how much water did you drink?!!"

Husband and wife in bed together.
She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder.
She: "Oh, that feels good."

His hand moves to her breast.
She: "Gee, honey, that feels wonderful."
His hand moves to her leg.
She: "Oh, honey, don't stop."
But he stops.
She: "Why did you stop?"

He: "I found the remote.

Horny wife

A lady who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated at her husband's lack of interest in sex.

She wondered about ways to add some pizzazz to their sexual relationship, and finally decided to purchase some crotchless underwear she had seen in a Lingerie shop.

One evening when she was feeling particularly desirous, and he was, as usual, watching television, she took a shower, freshened up, and donned the crotchless undies and a slinky negligee. She then strolled between her husband and the television, and suggestively tossed one leg up on his chair arm.

"Want some of this?" she purred.

"Are you kidding?" he replied. "Look what it did to your underwear!"

An Innocent Enough Inquiry

A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?"

The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"

"Hmmm, " he replies. "It must be your feet, then."

my funny story

A man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.

"What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.

"Well, I'll tell you," replies the man. "You know, I live by the railroad tracks. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the films.

I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!"

"Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky bd. Was she pretty?"

"Dunno... never found the head!"

Hello friends! i new on your forum!
see ya:))