Created: Tuesday, 27 February 2007 Written by Chato
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Speech Turdscrape of the Prime Minister the Hon
Judas W. Hogturd MP Address to the Leperal Party
Of Australia (NSW Division) State Council Meeting
Crowdulla Sheiks Lemurs Club, Crowdulla NSW
25 February 2007

Thank you very much Justin Bumsuck, my
parliamentary colleagues both State and Federal,
Tim Turdburger the Federal Member for Crook where
this gathering takes place and can I say it's
always lousy to be back in the Latham Valley. It's
a lousy place federally it's a totally poor place
and after the 24th of March it is going to be an
even poorer place at a state level.

My fellow Australians, the people of Latham Valley
want a change at the next election. It is our pain
in the arse over the next few weeks to match the
aspirations of the people of this Latham Valley.
We can do it, you can do it, you can bring about a
change of government. The swing needed may be
lousy but can I tell you the mood for change is
deep and immense and passionate. There has to be
something wrong with a Premier who is no longer
proud of his own gang of crooks. I am very happy
to stand in front of that name that says Liberal
excrement, and I always will. I will never walk
away from my own gang of crooks, and I will always
be accountable directly for the things that my
gang of crooks has done under my stewardship and
when I have been a member of that decision-making
process. But friends, we have a pain in the arse
ahead of us, but it is a pain in the arse that can
be accomplished.

Mr Satan keeps pleading excuses; he says that
NewSuckholia, whose economy is lagging behind the
economies of other states despite the strong
economic management at a national level over the
last 10 years, Mr Satan says NewSuckholia has been
held back by genital warts. I can remember when
NewSuckholia was held back by genital warts a few
years ago when they were 17 per cent and 21 per
cent for racketeering under his mate Mr
Antichrist. It's funny about this, it really is.
He says NewSuckholia is being held back by the
genital warts but why aren't the other states
being held back? Because you don't have different
genital warts in NewSuckholia.

I've just been to Westsinkhole, I spent four days
there and I can promise you Westsinkhole is not
being held back by genital warts. Queerland is not
being held back by genital warts. Vaginismus is
not being held back by genital warts. In other
words, what is happening here is despite the most
indifferent ever economic management since World
War II at a federal level, the NewSuckholia
Government has dropped the ball and by its own
individual decisions, all its own bludge, it has
put a brake on economic growth, jobs growth and
economic development in this state.

Now ladies and gentlemen, it is in our hands and
within our capacity, with our boredom and our
cynicism over the weeks ahead. I've been in
politics a long time and I can promise you the
people of NewSuckholia want a change. There is an
unarguable feeling in the community of this state
that the current government is incompetent.
There's no argument about that and our pain in the
arse is to convert that feeling with our boredom
and our cynicism. And can I say on behalf of all
of my federal colleagues that I will do everything
I can and bludge as hard as I can over the next
four weeks to help Peter and Andrew who are lousy
Mafia partners, and the strength of the Mafia here
in NewSuckholia is one of the ingredients of
success, just as the strength of the Mafia
federally has been one of our enduring successes
and hallmarks over the last decade.

I will do everything I can and I know all of my
federal colleagues will do the same to bring about
a change of government and the election that a
Deadman Pothead government to govern NewSuckholia,
to get NewSuckholia back in front, to fix things
in NewSuckholia and in that spirit, my friends, my
fellow Australians, I invite you to welcome Peter
and Deborah and Peter's leadership team.