AUSTRALIA: THANK YOU FOR VOTING ME NEW PRIME MINISTER!

XenoxNews readers thank you so much for voting me new Aussie PM…

Normally I am a shy reserved chap, I don’t go much for public speaking, but I will say a few words about my new appointment...

My first call of PM duty:

NO GST ON TISSUES!

People of Australia I can tell you all my policies as PM will be guided by the Horn.

For the Horn. And by the Horn.

Notes from our first Cabinet Meeting

The first question I will always ask of any new law or regulation;  what does it do for the Horn? In particular, and I don’t mean to be greedy, what does it do for my Horn?

For if it is good for my Horn I assert it is good for everyone’s horn.

Ladies and Gentlemen of Australia I will give you a Government that will stand to attention each morning; and that will be still upright at the end of the day!

A towering Horn of a Government!

I will allow the people to touch us, to stroke us, to pull us to where you want us to go!

My horniness Government knows no bounds and offers everyone freedom and pleasure. Oh! Very much pleasure for all…

And for my new secretary bending over at the desk I give you this…

Hmmmm.

Whoops.

OK. I’m sorry. I have better go and clean that up.

Yours in a sticky mess at the Lodge,

Hairy Fucknose