Xenox Gallery


Created: Sunday, 09 February 2003 Written by Correspondent
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Let’s privatize the war!
It’s obvious that the just and courageous attack on Saddam Hussein’s evil empire will be happening soon. Finally the international community are listening to reason and supporting President Bush on his crusade for freedom.
However there is one problem. The cost.
It is big enough to plunge the budgets of all the Governments involved into the red! The last 20 years have been a revolution in the economic life of the world. Led by those superstars of politics Maggie Thatcher and Ronald Reagen, the commanding heights of the economy have been returned to where they belong: the private sector. In all facets of society it is now recognised that the heavy hand of the government should be withdrawn from the economy. In telecommunications, in transport, in the supply of essential services, the costly and burdensome ways of big government have been removed. There really remains only one area of government that has so far avoided the realities of the New World Order. Defence.

Just think what it could be. Soldiers going off to war with their Remington rifles and their refreshment canteens sponsored by Pepsi! Whole divisions could be put up for tender, with the result being a huge saving for the over burdened taxpayers. The Navy, long a hot bed of laziness and sloth, could be re-fitted by sailing under flags of convenience and using third world crews who wouldn’t even need to be paid! Just give them some food and they will gladly sail for your country.

It is well known that private sector firms, and the guiding hand of the market, are the only ways to provide efficient use of scarce economic resources. Let’s apply this logic to the armies facing the tyrant Saddam. We know it is going to cost a fortune so let’s do what we can to minimise the cost while not compromising the result. I can envisage the corporate sector getting involved and making this a huge success. We could have the News Corp 101st Airborne parachuting into Baghdad, supplying two needs at once. The world’s need to get rid of Saddam, and Rupert’s need for content for his multi-media empire. Perhaps we could have Consolidated Press paying for our world class SAS regiments. All they would have to do is take Richard Carleton along with them!
Incentives could be offered for the first soldier to kill Saddam! A free Cadillac, or some such.

So get on the phone, the computer, and talkback radio. Tell your local member you don’t want to pay for this war. You want Kerry Packer to!

Let’s privatize this war!

Tom Titmouse