Monday, 19 November 2007 By Max Gross
Sturm und drang und shite: Australia’s rising election erection
With Australians poised to vote in a critical federal election, raving reporter Max Gross chews the furniture and headbutts the fridge.

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Here we go, here we go, here we go-oh-oh-oh-oh!

In just a few days Xenox News readers will know whether Australians have tired of behaving like addled, butt-fucked drones dog-paddling in the stinking moral cesspit excavated, filled and kept topped up by PM Joh W Horror over the past 11-plus years… or will Australians remain buggered and comatose.

Are we really just a nation of careless, clueless, shorn and compromised sheep or do we have the nouse to develop a genuine democracy in a nation uniquely born from a dumping ground for the criminal dregs of the 18th Century British Empire?

Lest we forget!

Even though Australia officially became an “independent” federated nation in 1901, the Empire’s racist colony Downunder really didn’t want that independence. Australia insisted on remaining the Empire's coddled infant, clinging to the skirts of the fading concept of monarchy too which our PM clings. Which must seem kind of weird to our blood-soaked American brothers and sisters who fought a relentless war against mad old king George (no, not the current pretzel Prez, but we can hope!) and established a republic based on the notion of independence, an idea the U.S. ruthlessly denies other nations to develop for themselves. Iraq, anyone?

Not something our hole-sucking PM wishes to acknowledge. But then, his era is over.

Not once has the Tory PM polled above Labor since Fudd replaced Meazley as Labor leader in the first week of December.

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All of this year, in the Clayton’s election campaign that we’ve suffered before our sinister prime minister announced the “official” one, the polls have scarcely moved: the Labor opposition, for all its obvious faults, policy fan-dancing and flumbuggery (I made the latter word up but I think XN readers know what I mean) will depose the despotic dwarf JWH and his mean menagerie at long bloody last.

With the increasingly desperate incumbent Joh W Horror PM and his horde of mean mental defectives spending pilfered taxpayer dollars like cock-eyed junkie whores in a crack house - the Reserve Bank’s warnings of an increasingly overheated economy not just unheeded but rebuffed – the traditional Liarberal Party rhetoric of fiscal responsibility and “experienced” economic management has been exposed for what it always was: just more shinola from that morally pox-raddled, in-bred mob of rich rancid ratbags, self-serving corporate connected crooks and pathetic Tory drones with their archaic born-to-rule mentality.

Vote buying? Pork barrelling?

Brothers and sisters, the 2007 Election is a bullshit-spattered JWH pig stampede heading straight for Saturday’s Election Day slaughterhouse.

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An independent report by the Commonwealth Auditor-General has found that Joh Horror’s ministers had ignored the advice of public servants and accelerated funding without proper assessment — or any assessment at all. And it’s not even Christmas yet!

The Government’s so-called Regional Partnerships Program has been used a slush fund, plagued by political interference and unaccountability, with the 10 electorates that received the most money all held by the PM’s mob and, of 43 projects approved without departmental approval between 2003 and 2006, 38 were in Horror Government electorates.

The Auditor-General’s independence was immediately attacked by the Deputy PM Mark Venom, who threatened to “reassess” the AG when/if the Horror mob retain office, possibly one of the few senior public servants not yet politicised by this ratbag regime.

This is the same Deputy Prime Minister who continued to make promises from the program without departmental advice being finalised, announcing unapproved “grants” worth $900,000 for his own electorate of Lyne since the start of the current election campaign.

This is the end, beautiful friend…

And the additional $9.4 billion in new “promises” made by the Lying Rodent at the belated Liarberal election launch last week - within hours of the independent bank forecasting that underlying inflation will hover at about the 3 per cent mark until 2009, risking further interest rate rises - was the equivalent of waving the white flag of surrender.

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But there’s no denying that the Horror Government's profligate, panic-driven tax cuts - tax cuts worth $34 billion at the start of the election campaign - and spending policies are boosting pressure on inflation and interest rates.

This IS the end!

The perfidious PM has shot his wad.

The stiffened member looked impressive on the first take but reviewing the video revealed a very little limp dick and a negligible emission. The dumb, glassy-eyed electorate who would normally swallow Johnny’s jizz are out back watching Australian Idol.

As for the historically low loan interest rates “promised” in the PM’s previous 2004 election ploy, those rates have risen six times and by all accounts (pun intended) will grow, regardless of who gains government but who but the usual idiots believed that ludicrous claim back then anyway? Just like the GST JWH had pledged, as opposition leader, he would "never, ever" introduce, then went ahead and did so, sending the cost of essentials rocketing and luxury good plummeting.

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I mean, this was the bloke who invented the “none-core” election promise! As if our opinion of politicians’ scruples wasn’t low enough!

And as Treasurer under the Fraser Government, the duplicitous dwarf headed an interest rate of 22%! But who’s counting, right? It’s all about the Big Lie, the one thing that selfish old whore Joh W Howard has developed into an art form, as obscene and obvious as it is.

And, whatever you do, don’t mention the global catastrofuck of idiotically joining the Amerikkkan invasion and occupation of Iraq.

I mean, the Bush regime’s Iraq occupation grotesque and historic global disaster was aided and abetted by JWH yet it didn’t even rate a mention at the PM’s election launch.

And remember, dear reader, Kofi Annan, former Secretary General of the UN called the US-led invasion of Iraq “an illegal act that contravened the UN Charter.” (17 September 2004).

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The mendacious midget obviously hopes Aussie voters don’t notice his role in creating the fastest growing refugee crisis in the world, with one in six Iraqis displaced: 60,000 a month leaving the country, spilling into Syria (1.4 million) and Jordan (750,000).

And that’s not counting the civilian death toll that, by October 2007 was between 74,000 and 81,000, according to Iraq Body Count who also warn that many deaths may not have been reported.

In September last year, Iraq's health minister said between 100,000 and 150,000 civilians had been killed in the war. And tat was a year ago!

And as for the Aussie electorate, those mug punters who kept the extremist Horror government going for the past near-12 years, essentially endorsing his reckless ministry, his relentless assault on democracy, on justice, on truth and the Aussie “values” he bastardised for his own sickening purposes; his slander and scaremongering cruelty – leaving asylum seekers to drown at sea or incarcerating them, helpless men, women and children, in razor-wired concentration camps in the desert and on bankrupt Nauru – his vicious attack on working men and women’s rights and conditions; his outrageous classification of an hour a week’s work as “employment”; his pandering to the rich and his neglect and abuse of the indigent and the indigenous; his assault on equal opportunity in education; his dismantling of a health system arguably once the envy of the world; his selling-out of Australia’s interests to those of the USA in a so-called ‘free-trade-agreement” that threatens our culture as well as our markets; his collusion with a scarcely sane apocalyptic arsehole to attack and occupy another country at the risk of further enraging fanatic forces seeking revenge for generations of often fatal Amerikkkan interference in the affairs of other peoples, other communities and other nations; his assent of U.S. kidnapping, torture and imprisonment without trial; his refusal to accept what just about all the world already knows, that global warming is a clear and present danger requiring both immediate action and vision for the future (and who really believes his sudden conversion from derision to “concern”?); his pathological lying, shameless deceit and cold-blooded refusal to accept responsibility for the harm he and his divisive policies have caused.

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Is the age of extremism over then?

Will JWH’s ouster signal a new dawn of genuine egalitarianism, equity and democracy for Australia?

Doubt it.

When the Lying Rodent gets the boot this coming weekend it won’t be because of altruism or renewed belief in the Aussie myth of a fair go for all, it will be because the selfish fucking bastards who voted for Joh W. Horror previously because of their overdrawn credit accounts and impractical mortgages are now voting for Fudd for exactly the same bloody reasons: fear and greed.

Whew! Time for another brew!

This is Max Gross for Xenox News, stacking the freezer with vodka, stocking the fridge with beer and betting that Bush sinks the U.S. economy and our mining boom busts… all in time for the new Oz Prime Minister Kevin Fudd to cop the blame.

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