COME AND BAG YERSELF A SOMALIA PIRATE -
This here outfit, "To The Point" offers the sportsman the ultimate adventure cruise along the pirate-infested coast of
Git on board a luxury cruise ship in
Starting at $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room) and $6,900 (veranda complete with bench rest), you'll relax like never before.
That's cuz you are welcome to bring your own arsenal with you. If you don't have your own weapons, you can rent them from our onboard Master Gunsmith. Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon with skeet and marksmanship competitions every night!
But the best fun of all, of course, is Pirate Target Practice.
For the object of the cruise is to sail up and down the
Rent a full auto M-16 for only $25/day with ammo attractively priced at $16 per 100 rounds of 5.56 armor-piercing:
On a budget? Rent a full-auto scope-mounted AK-47 for only $9/day with 7.62 ball ammo at $12 per 100 rounds:
Hello! Nothing gets a pirate's attention like a Barrett M-107 .50-cal sniper rifle; only $59/day with 25 rounds of armor-piercing ammo affordably priced at only $29.95.
Need a spotter? Crew members can double as spotters for only $30/hour (spotting scope included, but gratuities are not.)
Want to make a real impact? Rent an RPG for only $175/day with three fragmentation rounds included! Ain't nothin better'n wackin a Somali Pirate with an RPg - like heaven on earth.
Also included: Free complimentary night vision equipment - and throughout the night, coffee, pastries and snacks are always available on the main deck from 7pm until 6am.
But that's not all! Twin mounted miniguns are available for rental at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire! Good googly goo, gonna git me a jigaboo or too.
We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or you'll receive an instant $1,000 refund upon arrival in Mombassa.
Operating at 5 knots just beyond 12 nautical miles off the coast of
We repeat this for five days, making three complete passes past the entire
Testimonials from previous participants in the Somali Cruise:
"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected. I bagged three pirates, my wife nailed two, and my 12-year old son sank two boats with the mini-gun. This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family" -- Dr. David Duke, Louisana
"Pirates 0, Passengers 32! Well worth the trip! Can't recommend it highly enough!" -- Uri Ben Shavinski, Miami, Florida
"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in '
Pirate Hunter Correspondent: Ricardovitz
Ricardovitz said MoreYou sound 'bout like a A-1 cunny-hate'n... 3 days ago.
Chester Cromwell said MoreStuff all the cunts into a bag and dump... 3 days ago.
Dada Jokes said MoreCould we have an English Breakfast Roya... 3 days ago.
FlimFlamMan said MoreSissy? What sort of numbknucle name is... 4 days ago.
Ricardovitz said MoreDern't worry none 'bout Sissy. She got... 5 days ago.
I don't like acceptable things! They're a bit dull.