Sunday, 16 May 2004 By TEX LUMBAGOXenox News sends hearty congratulations to one of John Howard's lil' Aussie battlers who has conquered the world stage: Princess Mary of Denmark! Hopefully after a night of right royal rogering the happy couple have hung the blood stained sheet over the balcony so that the delighted population of Copenhagen can see that Prince Freddie has fulfilled his matrimonial duties.
We watched the wedding with wrapt attention here at the Xenox News bunker. Tom Titmouse quipped there haven't been more inbreds gathered together since they buried that fat old bitch Queen Victoria! Well, I suppose Mary is from Tasmania...
We only hope that Mary doesn't end up like that other Princess. You know the one. Her hubby wished he was a tampon and the last thought she had thru her noggin was the windsheild! We are sure that our Princess Mary is more level headed than Di ever was.
So we say bottoms up and drain our stubbies dry for the new Princess of Hearts: Mary of Copenhagen!
God Bless, and long may we see you on the cover of New Idea!