DEAR RICKY...

Just use a tissue like the rest of us pervert!

I advise driving a sharp spike through the revolting thing.
But, then that is the same advice I give for everything...
- Vlad (of "The New Impalers")

What thing?
The pecker or the flag?

I suggest impaling them both together - on a flag pole.
I hope that helps.
- Vlad

Ow! That gotta hurt!

Tissues!

Larry - Mr Perfect.


Fuck that.

I see no inherent problem with wiping your penis. It must be cleaned up occasionally, just like a snotty nose or a blood soaked vagina.

However, I seen no point in waiting to find a flag just to clean a sloppy penis. It should be cleaned promptly after soiling.

If you are having a problem with a drippy penis after web surfing, I'd suggest cauterizing the affected area. You can build a nice cauterizer with a piece of tightly strung tungsten wire connected to the electrodes of several nine volt bateries run in series. A flag is only a temporary solution, and not a good one at that. Most flags are actually produced in china and are rather plasticy and non-absorbant. So, you could end up with a bad strain of chinkorea or slant-eyed sickness while just making a smeary mess of yorself.