Presto, Collapse-o

and yer money, I'm gonna swoop in and buy me up a whole heap of Australian land fer me to rent out and clean up the place.

Our money is safe cause Kevin told me so.

Old man Rudd don't know nothin! Now, listen up, cuz you need to listem to me. I'm tell'n you - you better git all them Aussie Bucks out of that Australian Bank of yers.

Then when you git done pullin all of yer money out - go get youself some of that slant-eyed, Nip currency - called Yen. Don't waste no nevermind on Yankee Dollars neither. And, you can forget that other chink money. Other than them anywhoo, ain't no money 'round that's any good.

Oh, and don't be gettin yerself a heap of gold. At $900/oz, you might as well buy youself a whole mess of Amway products from that retard brush salesman on three wheels.

But I understand Uncle Vlad has a very good setup in the Motherland so I might get in my jalopy and head east once again. The jingle of the rouble in your pocket, and a little babushka's head in your lap, sounds mighty comforting now.

I'm concerrned that Rick is talking about buying houses because clearly the bloke is not yet house-trained.

Doesn't "babushka" mean granny? Only necrophilia could be worse! I'm not going to risk it until I get a Russian/English dictionary.