Created: Monday, 10 November 2008 Written by *CAPTAIN_AUSTRALIA*Homicidal vending machines take over the world.
An alarming statistic: More people die each year
from vending machines falling on them than from
People who preach nothing but hellfire and
brimstone must do so because they have never
experienced the true cut and thrust of machine
Vending Machinists are highly skilled individuals
who produce seven different styles of traditional
Yesterday at work, a colleague got some candy out
of the vending machine. When she opened it up, it
was full of an autonomous living slime that was
seething with some black, hidden horror.
A man was raped five times by something yellowish
and hairy while loading a Coca-Cola vending
A vending machine won't circle you for half an
hour before closing in for the kill, but
statistically they are far more dangerous than
things sporting a score of long greenish-grey
tentacles with red sucking mouths.
There are far too many vending machine horror
stories of this kind.
Please do something to try and stop this horror!