Hey Foxy Boxy! Where you been running to now?
Hey Foxy Boxy! Heard you gone way down to Mexico now!
Yes our boy Boxhead has been a little quiet lately. But that doesn't mean he doesn't want to hear from you. So keep sending those questions in.
Today we have one from a pommy prick called Gordon...
Well ahoy there Mr Boxhead!
I visited your great continent recently and am now back in the mother country.
I certainly enjoyed my holiday, and, I might add, that I jolly well enjoyed having a "chin wag" with a group of Aussie natives I met yonder.
However since my return the cerebral matter has been nagging at me no end with a burning question.
What is a piss ant?
Your faithful servant,
Gordon Proctor
Dear Gordo,
Glad to hear you enjoyed yourself in the Greatest Nation on Earth. And I do mean that. Why would I live here if it wasn't the case?
Yes Australia, a land of erudite thinkers and languid love makers. A place where the good and gracious can abide together in peace and harmony. Given the situation in your shithole country, no wonder you loved it here.
And the language of Oz! It is a wonder. Filled with epithets and slang, it can be hard to know your arse from elbow when Aussies get together for a chat. And we have so many terms to describe those that we think are lacking good graces and, how can you put it nicely, are morons.
And this is where 'piss ant' comes in. No doubt you heard it often, probably because they were referring to you and your pommy brethren.
Anyway, no need to worry. You can stop being one by following the golden rule. After imbibing that slab of Guinness take the box, cut a few eyes in it, and lob it over your noggin. There you go! You can be a piss ant, a fuckwit, a pommy arsehole, any of these things, and it wouldn't matter. Cause your head is in a box so no one will know its you.
Simple as that.
Now go and have a Pimms and fuck off.
Cheers&love,
Boxy
