Dear Mr Boxhead,
I am a keen investor, but in these troubled financial times I am not sure where to put all my shekels.
Boxhead you seem a canny fellow, can you advise me?
Shlomo, Tel Aviv
Woah mate! Christ, you're as ugly as my Aunt Betty, and she's as ugly as they come. Never mind your finances, what do you want to do about your ugly mug? You must be scaring the bejezus out of those Tel Aviv gals!
I reckon I know what you need; a box. Face it Shlomo; with your ugly dial and dumbarse name you must have no chance of pulling a root.
So forget your worries about your money; stick a Box on your head instead! And then, like me, you'll have your pick of the chicks all day long.