#AskBoxhead - Are they my friends on the internet?

Dear Mr Boxhead,

I spend a lot of time floating around on the net. Twittering, Facebooking, TikkyTokking... And I follow these people and some of them they follow me, and I seem to want to get their approval and I am offended and shocked when they say things I don't agree with. I wonder, should I be taking these things personally?

Yours sincerely,

Lonely Leroy, Maroondah

 Dear Lonely,

Friends hey? On the Internet? I wouldn't even call them acquaintances...

Most of the time these people are just random lines of text your eyeballs wander over. You see Leroy they didn't make the Internet for you to make friends, and the pricks that run Facebook, Twitter, etc certainly aren't interested in you making friends. Making money for them yes, but friends for you no.

Should be like me Leroy. Calm, compact, and assured within my box. Protected and strong by encasing me head in cardboard, plus having a naturally robust constitution. Why should you care what these people say? 99% of it is just to get a raise from you, and not a good raise even! No Leroy, gather your thoughts, learn from those that can teach, and get out there in the real world and start sticking it to them. That's what I do!

Either that or I am relaxing with a cold brew and a honey on my arm.

Yours in true friendship,

Boxy