EVIL MYSTERY SOLVED

The Howardland "Beyond Brown"
team makes early breakthrough in
their non-core search for the
cause of depression. In a desperate last-ditch move,
clinicians decided to interview
victims of depression as to what
they thought the mysterious cause
of their bludging, malingering
moral breakdown. Everyone was
amazed when they all indicated that
Uncle Suckhole's fascist regime
was making living impossible.
"We never thought to ask the lazy
bludgers themselves!" gasped the
astounded Dr. Strangelove.

Uncle Suckhole, the degenerate,
thatcherite parasite was given the
news, and he was very relaxed and
comfortable upon hearing it. His
face stretched into a most
frightening grimace as he spoke
in his rodentiferous style.

"I always knew it was my own evil
pathology that was making people
sick. I had hoped to blame other
factors and other people for what
I have caused. Why should I give
a fuck? I shall still call them
bludgers and live in Suckabilly
house for free. I plan to tell
fucking whoppers and get away with
blue, bloody murder as I have
always done. The taxpayers will
keep me in fine style, and Beazley
will remain out-to-lunch.
Nobody cares any more. The morons
of Ostrichlia will believe anything
as long as they don't have to think
about it. Ostrichlia is fucked!
Me and my mates in the States can
do as we like with our robopathic
little slaves.
That's the last bit of truth you
will get out of me! Lucky thing for
you, I'm pissed! Cop this!"

There was a sound like tearing
cloth, and large stains spread down
his trembling, spindly legs. A
terrible stink rose from the surge
of liquid filth that filled the
elegant shoes the taxpayers had
bought him.

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