SOMETIMES WHEN WE TRUST

Thursday, 11 January 2007 By Chato

..the honesty's too much...

I was eating my fish and chips and I saw this
text in the "letters to the editor" column,
on the newsprint fish and chips wrapper.

I thought I should pass it on.

Dear consumers, human resources, and others,
hear my plea - and vote for me!

As we all know, massive social turmoil is good for
us, and that is why you have given me a mandate to
say, my strong commitment is to get the masses
engaged in worshipping mammon, to facilitate a
passionate belief in the ability of the poor to
live without freedom. Many have said, that my
reforms encourage unthinking self-destruction, but
we will take the difficult but necessary decisions
to keep Australia safe for wealth and to worship
the bloodsucking frenzy, as we embrace a way to
eliminate dependency through eliminating
pensioners. We will have no communistic talk about
affordable housing, because you have given me a
mandate to say, my proud mission is to train the
poor to serve and fit in with the job of
preserving the reputation of Australia, as a very
trusting dog. My hard-working team is dedicated to
talking about safety, and that is why I'm not
saying low income earners are heathens, but they
force me to sternly accept the enormous benefit of
the urgent need to convince the young that they
should breed. I am constantly amazed at how people
suck up to little despots, and that is why I
certainly won't be saying low income earners are
traitors, but they force me to productively apply
liberty in the interests of a new urgently needed
tax for a harmless people.

We have cleaned up the mess that respect for human
dignity left behind, and so I say, and it must be
said, that australians have started to eagerly
serve the rich and powerful, as I embrace the job
of encouraging everyone to attempt to traverse my
legalistic jungle. My lifestyle is defined by
abundance of wealth, and that is why I say,
helping your friends is not "corruption", but it
helps me to knife welfare dependency in the guts,
to usher in the urgent need to convince the
workers that they are not special. Heavens above,
if I were as cunning as people say, I'd be a
rodent, and that is why helping your friends is
not "insider trading", but it helps me to assure
the banks of their privileged position, as we
embrace this level playing-field where the ill,
the poor, and the rich can compete. Let me say,
this is a truly historic achievement for our rich
friends, and that's why I insist, being firm is
not "having a secret agenda", but it helps me to
encourage the masses to indulge in large borrowing
sprees, to assist in mutual obligation, to drive
forward reform. Heavens above, if I were as bad as
people say, I'd have fangs, and that is why we are
happy to know, my solemn duty is to bravely apply
liberty, in accordance with those immensely
productive landlords.

Let me say it would be nice to help the sick, but
when all is said and done I will say, and it must
be said, that australians have started to force
contract law onto the undeserving ill, as we
embrace the job of remoulding the australian
people. My government has forced the masses to put
in the hard yards, and that is why the unemployed
have had many dark hours under my regime, and that
encourages me to make the "human resources" spend
their money, to assist a glorious and fair new
definition of democracy. I can understand how the
workers feel about me, but I ask, who do you
really trust to give Australia low and high
interest rates? And to generously be a partner
with the wealthy, in the interests of a way to
eliminate dependency through eliminating
pensioners. Even though freedom is a nice idea, I
insist, being unfeeling is not "sociopathic", but
it helps me to apply firmness to convince the
young that they should breed, to ease in a new
urgently needed tax for a secure nation.
Centrelink has been getting the bludgers to do
their mutual obligation, and that is why I say, we
all have a duty to help the world increase housing
costs to turn out the light of hope for the
homeless, in the interests of the job of forcing
the young to try harder.

I feel well pleased at the operation of the market
system, and that is why we don't attack everyone,
only those too poor to fight back, and that
encourages me to eagerly embrace the job of
remorselessly blaming the working poor. I've
always believed that truth is supreme, truth is
never disposable, except when in the interests of
the best people. So I'm very committed to proudly
wear the crown of my mandate in the interests of
my mandate to impose a one world government. You
know, if I were as corrupt as people say, I'd be
arrested, and that is why I can do whatever my
powerful mandate allows, and that empowers me to
bash out the brains of national dental care on a
rock, as we embrace the job of preserving the
reputation of Australia, as a bombing range. I am
often accused of fostering an addiction to war,
but I say, my colleagues want me to bash out the
brains of moderation on a rock, as we embrace a
brave new definition of work conditions. It is my
fervent hope that my banker friends remain
friendly, and that is why I insist, listening to
the powerful is not "being a puppet", but it helps
me to forcibly release the labour of young
mothers, to realize a new ID card for a brave new
world.

Signed - A. Friend

.oOo.