Welcome to Australia. The Land Run By Gays.
Julia Gillard and Bob Brown have made a deal where together they will run the country.
Lesbians and Homosexuals Nationwide Celebrate.
The Sydney Gay Mardi Gra is set to become a public holiday.
Public acts of women on women cunnilingus and man on man horsey action will be encouraged as a display of the new independence.
Gays in the public service and police force will be encouraged to display their sexuality with new rules regarding truncheon useage. Police officers will be supplied with lubricants and velvet lined hand cuffs.
Gay couples will receive a rebate if they decide to celebrate their marriage in the nude televised on a new 24 hour gAyBC channel.
"The people of Australia need to get used to the sight of gay men and women kissing and fornicating" said Bob Brown today.
"There is nothing wrong with the act of a man shoving his erect penis up the anus of his partner and madly shoving it in and out until he begins to spasm and then erupt in a wash of dripping semen."
"This bipartisan policy will ensure that Australians will advance into the future as modern thinkers, liberated, accepting and loving."
Julia Gillard endorses the concept of public cunnilingus exhibitions with close up CCTV footage web cast on the new NBN. She also expressed interest in truncheon love with members of the police force.
"The parliament is about to enter a new era. As you know I am an advanced and liberated thinker and I certainly agree that gay members of parliament should have the right to display and/or fondle each others genitals during question time. In a modern democracy I see nothing wrong with members placing their mouths on the members of other members."
"Mister Abbott claims that we are going to far but he cannot deny that as we debated this issue the TV cameras detected a definite bulging in his trousers, particularly when the policy for public man on man fellatio was being discussed."
Tony Abbott has yet to respond to our questions but a Liberal party source has suggested that Mr Abbott may consider making a deal with the Greens regarding national mardi gra day as long as men wear their speedos during the march.