Australia's Federal Treasurer Joe Hockey has issued a dire warning about the State of the Nation’s economy. At a special meeting of Department Heads he told of budget blow outs that are of such magnitude that the government will be forced to make huge cuts to expenditure.
"Why me dear Lord? Why me?"
Even basic items could be targeted. Said Treasurer Hockey in his address:
“I am telling you nothing is sacred when it comes to saving the tax payer their hard earned money. This includes personal hygiene products such as toilet paper and soap.”
Department Heads shot back a warning of their own, telling Hockey that these cuts could mean that the dunny paper could run out by the end of the month.
But that didn’t faze old Joe. He waxed lyrical on the need for Aussies to tighten their belts so Gina and her friends don’t have to pay so much tax, in fact he broke into verse:
“Your average Aussie
has a dirty brown arse.
And it is quite a useful reminder
of their status and class.
So why should we,
your social betters,
have to pay for them
cleaning their butt with a paper feather?
Time for the pampered
and welfare crowd.
To realise that the job makers
Aren’t going to fund their lazy ways forever.”
And with that Treasurer Hockey turned his back on the filthy hordes and went back into his office.