Bend over, Australia! You asked for it!

Saturday, 23 October 2004 By Max Gross

Once a suckhole, always a suckhole. Today, resurrected PM Germ Howard warned of pending amendments to his Tory government's precious U.S. “free trade” legislation because of “concern” expressed by those poor, powerless drug conglomerates over there.

Verily, throughout the wide brown land of Surrealia, the call of the Rodent once more rings out: it’s not MY fault!

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In true Rodent form, the PM blames this sudden Amerikkkan “concern” o­n Labor leader Morph Latham for “playing politics” with the free trade agreement (FTA) when it passed – like the unwholesome black turd that it is - through Parliament earlier this year.

Seeing the inherent danger in the dodgy deal, Latham had insisted o­n clauses to protect cheap, generic drug manufacturers, the very heart of our world’s best practice PBS scheme. (or at least it was before the Rodent started gnawing away at it).

Oh boo hoo, the F.T.A. is in danger of foundering at the Mutated States of Amerikkka end of the “deal” because the robber barons running the mega-drug industry feel threatened by our cheaper prescriptions, so envied by ripped-off U.S. citizens.

With a twinkle in his beady little eye, PM Germ hissed that he still hoped “it would not be necessary” to change the FTA legislation, but added any changes would be due to those naughty Labor persons.

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Yes siree, pardner, you know it: the Rodent received his instructions o­n this – and no doubt many other “concerns” - from Amerikkka’s Hambassador, good old boy Cowboy Tom Schafter, ages ago. If o­nly Latham did as HE was told, hmmm?

Barely able to suppress the smirk o­n his face, the PM purrred "I do gently remind you that when the Labor Party opportunistically moved its amendment a couple of months ago I said it was unnecessary and I said it might cause difficulties.”

Vicious, venal old Monty Burns of The Simpsons couldn’t have put it better. Ex-cellent! Release the hounds!

And just in case all your swinging numbnut voters out there still don’t get it, in Amerikka F.T.A. stands for Fuck The Australians. And that includes all you lily-livered VICTORIANS and precious, coccooned TASMANIAN LOGGERS too!

Look out Surrealia, the Midget Machiavelli is off the leash and out of the kennel.

Good luck, ABC TV! It’s been nice knowing you, Senate watchdog! Fuck you, struggling welfare recipients! Goodbye cross media rules and welcome foreign ownership!

And with the Rodent’s new “uniform libel laws” in the wings, even here at Schloss Xenox our daze may be numbered.

This was Max Gross for, firing flares, lighting signal fires, and fanning flames of defiance.

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