70 YEAR OLD PM HOWARD DEMANDS NEW AUSSIE ANTI-TERRORIST LAWS!

After braving the last few days in the bomb wracked city of London elderly Aussie PM John Howard has demanded that his Attorney General urgently re-write current anti-terrorist legislation to ensure full protection of Australia against terrorist attacks.

Top of the doddering Aussie PM’s list are laws that will include the act of inciting others to terrorist action, or support of terrorist action, as part of the law of treason.
“The Global War on Terror is a war of freedom versus tyranny,” said PM Howard in London today.

“We do not want it to go the way of the war in Vietnam where a rabid fifth column in own country bolstered the enemy and sapped the will of our people to support our fight for freedom in Indo-china.”

In particular Howard said he wanted to target the pernicious influence of those in the media who were criticising the actions of the Coalition of the Willing in Iraq.

“I am sick of those people who are denigrating what we are doing in Iraq. In reality these people are actively giving hope to the terrorists who are bombing our cities by their criticism of our brave soldiers in Iraq. We are at war, and if you are not supporting the side of freedom, our side, you must be supporting the actions of our enemies, and therefore by any definition that is an act of treason.”

XenoxNews tried to contact some these chief propagandists for terrorism Max Gross and Chato but both were unavailable for comment.
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  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 21 years ago
    Is it somehow a crime to be 70 years old? Are these headlines using the phrase in a derogatory sense? Is being 70 synonomous with suffering from dementia? One could say "Senile PM" or "Demented PM" but why "70 Year old"? This is an innocent phrase and when it is used as a descriptive prefix it should induce in the reader a feeling of respect towards an elder who has simply survived 70 winters! The fact the he is 70 and is still so hale and hearty and actively employed in a very demanding job should be a singlular point of inspiration for us all. What is his secret I wonder? How does he endure the endless onslaught of criticism and complaints? Does he drink some magical elixir of youth containing the distillated oil extracted from exuberantly nubile virgins that have been boiled alive? Or does he simply eat a diet rich in sardines? I know not but if he has an autobiography perhaps we all should read it and learn. Why can't we all just get along?
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 21 years ago
    To explain how a geriatric neocon
    stooge keeps going is easy.
    He has called demonic forces
    from the very depths of Hell,
    and is now an empty, soulless shell.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 21 years ago
    Please Mr Howard, if I carry my ID card and fridge magnet at all times, we I be safe from both the terrorists AND the police?
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 21 years ago
    So your answer in dealing with Howard and changing the goverment is to turn to religion? Which one?
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 21 years ago
    There are no guarantees in life son. I suggest that if a man with a gun asks you to do something then you should probably do it if you don't want to die. At least you won't be deported as an illegal immigrant.

    Warms Regards,

    J. Howard
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 21 years ago
    Not only has Maggot Howard
    turned to the oldest, darkest
    religion - he is a harlot in
    the world's oldest profession.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 21 years ago
    Oh I get it now Chato. You're still in high school aren't you? Year 7 is it? You should be doing your homework insteading of wasting time here.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 21 years ago
    Please don't be bitter, sweetheart.
    It is not nice.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 21 years ago
    I ain't bitter. I am now enlightened as to why you post such crap here.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 21 years ago
    Fuck him. He is an old drooling windbag who should dodder off to the seniors home and when he does the Liberal party will disappear up his arse.

    Gough Whitless
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