PRINCE WILLIAM TO GET MARRIED

Tuesday, 16 November 2010 By Roving Royal reporter

The Right Royal Prince Willie, future King of England and Australia, and son of the Lady 'who held her licker by the ears' Diana and in-bred idiot Prince Charles, has announced he is going to start churning out his own line of mutant royalty by marrying some upper-class toffee nosed English slut next year.

All here at XenoxNews.com would like to congratulate the balding Prince Willie for choosing a fine incubator for our future overlords!

Pope Benny cheering for Willy and Kate

Pope Benny celebrates the Royal engagement announcement in Rome

Of course we aren't the only ones celebrating this marvellous event. They say England has gone wild with the news; with reports of spontaneous dancing in the street and all night boozing. UK Prime Minister Cameron summed up the mood of the nation when he said:

"We are all pleased as punch that Prince Willy has chosen himself a lovely filly to get sexy and silly with. I am sure it will provide a lovely boost to our nation just as I kick half of you out of a job"

Kate's mum loves to cop it up the bum

Kate's mum was ecstatic!

Australian PM Her Fucknuckle couldn't be contacted immeadiately for comment about this event. His secretary told us he was busy googling for 'Kate Middleton lookalike girl on girl action'.

So charge your glasses Xenoxnews readers, and send your best regards to Prince Willy and upper-class twit-of-the-year Kate Middleton!

Pithy Quote

Lying darkly in his crib, washed, powdered, and fed, he thought quietly of many things before he dropped off to sleep - the interminable sleep that obliterated time for him, and that gave him a sense of having missed forever a day of sparkling life. At these moments, he was heartsick with weary horror as he thought of the discomfort, weakness, dumbness, the infinite misunderstanding he would have to endure before he even gained physical freedom. He grew sick as he thought of the weary distance before him, the lack of co-ordination of the centres of control, the undisciplined and rowdy bladder, the helpless exhibition he was forced to give in the company of his sniggering, pawing brothers and sisters, dried, cleaned, revolved before them.