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except for the "then"... it is ye olde english y'know.

Flim, I must correct your erroneous assertion, it was NOT the GRAden, it was the GARden.
And THEN he fucked himself stupid - and why not? As long as he paid Caesar the GST...

Matthew 3:16
And lo Jesus walked out of the Garden of Gethsemane and fucked himself stupid for 20 years.

Act 19:32 Some therefore cried one thing, and some another: for the assembly was confused; and the more part knew not wherefore they were come together.

Deu 23:17 There shall be no whore of the daughters of Israel, nor a sodomite of the sons of Israel.

So that means Jesus was Satan? Or at least he had a brother who was Satan?

Wow. Christianity is as crazy as a hillbilly's family!

Yair mate, and they can stick a bit of good old Ezekiel up the back passage and see if they can "catch some fire" with it.
What a pack of miserable wankers! Hope they go to God before they can vote for The Turd.
*CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA*

Job 1:6 Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan came also among them.

Eze 27:31 And they shall make themselves utterly bald for thee, and gird them with sackcloth, and they shall weep for thee with bitterness of heart [and] bitter wailing.

Well what has satirical journalism come to? This is a sad day for Xenox News. Where are the keen insights typically displayed in the fine stories usually published here? LordyLordyLordy indeed.

Send him over. Hopefully he can deal with those rectally challanged christian cockheads who run the place.

I love Turdly Suckhole too.

Would have been especially unbearable with that blonde babe wife you had.

VERY tight my little son! Very tight indeed! Har, Har Harrrrrr!
S.A.Tan

I own the last laugh, AND your crappy souls! I'll be back! Har, Har, Harrrrrrrrr!
S.A.Tan

Have I got this right. Please advise.

When I get the blue balls I have to lie down and squeeze?

Do I squeeze the balls, one in each hand, and how tight?

Does this mean Ricardovitz was actually Satan but that he has now been banished from the world?

I thought he was a bit suss.

Dunno, but if you can't eat it, and you can't hump it - who gives a fuck?
- Mouse2

What the fuck is this about?
- Mouse1

I read this one as Farmer Howard and hid Darlin' Jeanette.

I believe that God will lift John Howard to Heaven on a cloud, with a choir of angels singing his praises!
- Doreen of Dulwich Hill (I love him, I just love him!)

I always dream of bathing in a tub of John Howard's old-man semen.
- Doreen of Dulwich Hill (an avid John Howard groupie)

Liz Taylor?

Or that sweet tart they had on TV the other night in that Rome show?

Liz had bigger tits but that was about all...

If only she did Cleopatra straight after Black velvet; that would have won me over.

and drank it.

I just did.

It dont taste too good...

Oh my sweet lady it is a pain too intense to describe clearly. The ache of wanting to love but being unable to love. Or the ache of loving oneself too much. You have the erection but the swollen head is purple in pain and throbbing endlessly for a memory; a vision of some lass you once saw. Walking up Bourke St with her dress bouncing round her cute arse but you know you will never get to fuck her.

Oh! Sister! Knobache is the pain inflicted by the blithe misunderstanding of God on the creation he made.

And is there an equivalent pain for women? Perhaps being unable to shop...

Just proclaim Monstralia a State of America, make Johnny Ratbag the Governer, and stop pretending we are a sovereign nation

Our diggers are being SHOT AT in Baghdad! How can this be! Will no-one save those helpless Aussie lads?

These moments, this hour, this day, we dedicate to our dead.
Young Australians, whose passing into the silent land, we will honour by ourselves becoming silent.
We must do all we can to preserve the tradition of stupid young men dying in the wars of other nations.
The war dead are owed no less than the blood of the young - forever.
J.W.Horrid (overpaid proconsul to the Southern War Cemetery)

What is this knobache? It sounds french. Is it?
- Sister Mary (Little Sisters of Chastity)

At least in Muslim heaven you get to have a root. What happens in Christian heaven?
Sweet fuck all! You just lay about all day crying with knobache.

Little Johnny went to school.





















And he shot the teacher stone dead.

Drink, smoke, eat and laze around as much as possible hoping for an early sudden death

Get used to it. We will raid any Iranian outpost more than 5 feet outside of Tehran. Iranians are evil. Iranians are rotten to the core. Iranians are the result of indians and arabs cross-breeding, creating a violent and inferior race. Iranians are Muslims of the worst order. If there was anything worth keeping in the Iranian or Pakistani civilizations, then India's Mohat Mugumbi wouldn't have marched them like rats into Pakistan and Iran. Even Saddam Husaine knew the vile and evil rat-like race that the Iranians were made up of and this is why he tried to destroy them with gas and nerve agents. He failed. But, we have learned much from his reasearch on destroying the rat-faced race of half-breed muslim-indians.

Two antennas got married.
The wedding wasn't much but the reception was great.

As well as being the biggest scaredy-cats in the world, most seppos never ever own-up to the rotten things they did and still do.
Unfortunately Aussies aren't very much better!
*CAPTAIN AUSTRALIA*

The white-english of the lot of you are certainly originated from convicts. Now, your cities have all of the trappings of "western" society, but your souls are filthy to the core.

How does the Australian propose to cleans himself of the sins of his ancestors? How shall the Australian scrub his soul so that the true world can see past the Australians' wicked nature?

These are the paramont questions that you should be exploring on this forum! Only the Good Lord can help you repent and wash your filthy sins away in a river of light.

Rhym. This is a direct result of the Jap influence on western culture with its "haikuue" non-rhyming, bullshit poetry. Now, every two bit nutty Johny, or looney Jill thinks heshe's a poet.

YOU AIN'T!

Australians are nothing more than a mongoloid mix of english, arab, jiggaboo, and chinkjap. You really need to wake up and smell the opium burning in your basements.

Soooo, you are the Good Witch of Oz. Behind all Good Witches is pure evil. A witch is an evil pagan and an afront to the Lord, makes no nevermind if you "claim" to be good. Recall that Glynda rejoiced in the murder of her sister. Recall that Glynda encouraged the murder of her other sister, leaving her to rule over oz, like a good little devious witch. Pagan to the core! Nothing more than a tool for the Devil and his demonic deciples.

OZ IS THE LAND OF THE WICKED, FULL OF WHOREMONGERS AND PAGANS!!!

It's our convict past that made us what we are today: silently cursing authority under our breath, engaging in acts of petty criminality, while simultaneously forelock tugging, arse-kissing and brown-nosing our way through life so as not to upset our betters. Now that's the Aussie spirit!

I never realised we actually armed our blokes for combat over there. I thought they were just for show, so John Howlong could point them out to his boss in the USA.

Fuckin oath mate! This old raghead reckons Aussie chicks are askin for it when they tart about with their tits showin and their arses winkin out from under a mini skirt... well, fuck yeah, its the Aussie way of life, you old cunt! And if you dont like it, go back to where you come from and leave the bitches to us dinky die Aussie patriots! I never met a chick that thought she was too fuckin good for a root from me!

gee, are'nt our aussie terrorists doing a fine job of protecting us by murdering yet another Iraqi civilian. oh no, the aussie terrorist is innocent yet again. a slap on the wrist and don't do it again is what they'll get for not asking.

That Mufti of Turkey started WW1 remember. Then us Aussies had to go and straighten him out.

I like getting gang-fucked by Lebs and suchlike. Aussies leave me cold!
All except John Howard. Getting raped by non-core John would be an honour.
- Doreen of Dulwich Hill (and a staunch John Howard voter)

If not for the brave diggers, the islamofascist hordes would be pouring into Australia right now!
If we leave, the americans will think - "if it’s good enough for aussies to go, it’s good enough for us to go!"
So we must stay, otherwise the americans will leave. Before leaping to judgement, remember this - those civilians are very well trained!
- J.W.Hogturd
(vice-regal governor, proconsul and deputy sheriff to the southern bombing range)

Good to hear some more of that clear-headed advice from Georgia's favourite son!

Dear Ricky, you mustnt upset yourself so! Do take a quiet lie down and perhaps a nice cup of tea. Im sure once you wipe the saliva off your chin you'll feel much better.

I take a leave of absense for a short time and this place turns into some sniveling retard-pandering, scared of the lawyers website! Just look at this crap - I SAID LOOK, DAMN IT!

I see a "Fair Use Notice" in blue electrons floating about - SCARED SOME US LAWYER IS GOING TO KICK YOUR ARSES?

Articles posted about crybabies weeping over the death of sand-n*g*e*s. They shat all over Australlia and you people weep for them. Pathetic!

No articles about how the Jews are masterminding the take over of the western world - WAKE UP LEMMINGS!!!

Do I need to whip you people into shape? Do I need to take a genetic head count so that we know the color make-up of the posters that spew their multicultural garbage on this site?

If I were to skin the lot of you and throw your hydes into a boiling pot of water, and then painted my house with the soup, what color would my house be? evil-Black, mud-Brown, Chink-yella, or Ayrian-white?

You sperm-sucking, ass-kissing, baby-weeping, drugged-up-retarded Asstralians must be sniffing that big poluted Kalifornia Fart that blew over your neck of the woods, 'cause y'all are sounding just like those huffed-up glue-sniffing slush-brains that are just begging for an icepick to get them streight in the head again.

WAKE UP PEOPLE YOU ARE BEING INVADED, BY THE AIDSMONGERS AND YOUR ASSHOLES ARE WIDE OPEN!