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Ricky, about that "one man's wet dream" comment - you weren't suggesting were you? You know, Johnny starring in someone's wet dream?! There is no God! No! Baaaaarrrrrrrrffffff!!!

Looky who's our President - George W. Bush, a Texan. Looky who was our former President - William Clinton, a good ole' boy from Arkansas. Even 'ole Commie Carter was from a peanut farm in Plains Georgia, just 'rond the corner from where I'm from.

Hot damn! We ain't await'n any longer for the South to Rise Again. I done risen, and we run the place boys and girls. Yesssireee, we are once again a Confederate Nation, just as the Founding Fathers intended.

I'm with you one hundred parcent! Your Labor party and your "Liberal" (as a left-bent commie from China-town)Party got it all wrong. And I am so glad you recognize this.

There is only one party for Australia, and it's the Shooter's Party. God gave us guns, and your dictators have ripped them from your warm hands. It's time for all good Australians to git them back!!!!

Johnny Germ wouldnt bounce if you hit him in the head with a brick... say, now we're getting somewhere!

Looks more like a tosser than a tossel

Dont worry about little ol' Rick Mrs Chu, he's just a dog turd on the boot heel of U.S. history

Seen her again today. Seems she wants to met.

Thats Pell with his gear off; he is the one on top.

And that's Tony Abbott with a green wig!

What makes you think I will vote for either Howard or Rudd? We have become almost (ALMOST!) like miserable America, a two-party dictatorship. No, I'll be having none of that corrupt nonsense!

Ricky, if are representative of the folks "down south" then it certainly explains the results of the Civil War.

Ricky, it's sin from top to bottom in this burg! A reckoning is due - ready or not! Jesus save me! (I'll settle for any help I can get)
- Ex Liberal Voter

Compliments of your Socialist Party.

Now, what exactly do you Ausie girl-lovers (apparently in the minority) do on your National Butt-Fuck day?

Ya know, there's a good reason we have National Fag-Bashing day here in the States. Nothing beats a good crack to the head to keep with a bat the queers in their closets.

One man's nightmare is another man's wet dream.

Lies, damn lies, and statistics. Look over there, don't look at the massive Oz debt and run-down infrastructure. Don't look at the hideous future that Johnny has built. Look over there, look anywhere, but don't eyeball the Emperor's new non-core finery. Plenty of trivia to keep the sheeple distracted. Poor Rudd! What a mess he'll pick up. I'm sure the banks and the developers will tell him what to do - just like they do with John.
- Ex Liberal Voter

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

Answer: No, not at all - you must pray for them so that they come to understand the Lord and what the Lord requires. You must pray that the world comes to understand sacrafice.

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

Answer: Your daughter is a whoremonger because that is the way you have raised her. She is but a reflection of yourself, and an abomination to the image of God. Only those that, through actions which are an abomination to the Lord, create whorelots of their daughters will be sanctioned to provide a better life for them through slavery. Then for your embrace of perversion and spreading of whoredome to the world, will burn for all eternity for your sin against humanity.

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Answer: You engage in perversion, unfavorable to the Lord, by asking a woman unwed to yourself, about such things. For this you will burn. But, for those who are married, the wife's duty is to keep her husband informed of the unclean days, and not to engage in fruitless sexual adventures during this time. Not only is it unclean, but it serves no productive purpose to engage in sexual activity with a dutiful wife during this time. The Lord despises Unproductives.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

Answer: All defeated nations are considered "neighboring nations" - this is the proper translation of the ancient hebrew. It makes no nevermind whether the defeated nation is Mexico, Canada, or Africa. In the South, we adhear to this commandment in spirit, and when the South rises again, we shall once again make Gods Law our Law.

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

Answer: No you are not. For every day that your neighbor works on the Sabbath and is not put to death by the Lord, it is proof that Our Beloved Lord is just and merciful.

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Answer: Homosexuality is clearly an abomination, as all of Sodom and Gamora were destroyed by the Lord by a precursor to AIDS on account of such perversion and unproductive activity. Regarding eating insects of the sea, the Lord protects those who listen to him by saving them from the virulant diseases that inflict these nasty water insects. If you want to be a dummy and eat raw oysters, then you take the chance of eating infected bug-shit served up by the Lord for not listening.

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Answer: Back in the day of the hebrew, there was no such thing as reading glasses. And, in front of the Lord's Altar were angry animals waiting to be sacrificed. The Lord commandement is intended to protect the blind from dangers that then-existedn in approaching his mighty Altar.

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

Answer: The hebrews mistakenly interpret this directive from the Lord. Clearly, the Lord in all of the ancient texts is obsessed with cleanliness, and will even go so far as to require that penis flesh be trimmed for purposes of clenliness. It is an abomination unto the Lord for ancient hebrews and misguided jews to permit their hair to become ratty, unclean, burly and wild. Clearly the Lord desires that men keep their beards shaven, their heads of hair cut or shaven, and women's bodies shaven as well.

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

Answer: I recon I had to study up on this one. The truth is that the ancient hebrews didn't even know what a pig was - they didn't live in that part of the world, as they were mostly living in the great forests of northern Europe. So, clearly the hebrews didn't get this one right. In fact, it is proven that their anin't even any mention of "pigs" in any of the ancient texts. We know know that the genuine translation was "camel", not pig. God just don't want you eating camel meat because this animal was more productive and useful 10 fold as a beast of burden than for food. So, the Lord was really telling the dumb hebrews to stop slaughtering their camels for food.

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

Answer: Now, you're just misquoting scripture. There ain't noth'n in there about polymers and clothing, since they didn't exist. What the Lord was trying to explain to the dumb hebrews was to stop overfarming their land - they were using bad farming practices, and the Lord needed to educate them on how it was supposed to be done.

And, like I said before, it ain't up to you to do the Lord's bidding for him - The Lord is full of mercy, and every day your horrid relatives continue to defy him is further testamony to the Lord's kindness, love and forgiveness of his people. But, the Lord has limits. He ain't about to put up with devil-arabs, and thus has lead his troops to fight against those who sing praises to the devil-allah.

For ye not know enough to know what ye is really saying. We must all pray for the ignorant and the lemming, the anarchist, and the drug guzzling hippies - which are really all one and the same.

For anarchy is just the vehicle which will lead the world to the Lord's salvation in its aftermath. Without anarchy we cannot have the Judgment Day and the resurection of our Lord.

So, we are praying for y'all.

Humanity is poisoned with this ignorant, superstitious claptrap called religion, be it christian, muslim, jewish or whatever, it's all a mental illness. there will be no progress until people snap out of this moronic nonsense. Taxing the bastards would be a fine start!

Does this missive have the imprimatur of Arch Bishop Pell

You whacked out latte-sipping lefties must be feeling a bit low now.

The Australian economy has never been better; there are more jobs and higher wages than ever before.

And who is responsible for this bountiful harvest?

PM John Winston Howard.

Already the polls are turning for the PM. You can guarantee that the next poll will show an even bigger shift towards our greatest ever PM and away from the Unions toyboy Kruddy.

Oh I am going to love this; when Kruddy has the greatest fall in opinion poll history.

Digger,
Cranbourne

Herr Fuckhead, one of these days somebody will call the fire brigade to come and hose you down. Does the hair on your palms get caught in your mouse? Can you read the big print on an eyechart? These are questions that often torment us.
- A Friend

Plainly put: God is a cunt! But luckily, it is all in the mind! (and non-core John is an abomination in the purity of that mind!)
- An Archist

Democracy is the thinnest of thin ice. I refuse to skate on it. After all, it's all in the mind...
- An Archist

I'd fuck a guy with green hair.
And a girl with no hair.
And a randy polar bear.



Fuck, i'd fuck anyhting.

That lot is just as attractive as a fatal car smash.
- Ray Tracer

Recon, the reason behind the Bush administrations protection of members of the corrupt Saudi royal family is the same one behind its business dealings with the Taliban almost up to the minute of its bombing the shit out of them in 2001: two-faced, money-grabbing, power-lust horror. I look forward to the day democracy is restored to the USA.

I prefer cuming onto Sydney... all over his sweat stained botty.

Ohhhhhuhhhhohhhh

What a mess I made on that old fella's arse.

With the deflections above I take it that after all this time there is still no explanation for the US Government approved exodus of Arabs from the country after the attack.

Nothin but pure-as-God brilliance! Can I have an "Amen" to that, Dr.?

Dr., you really have progressed way beyond the drug-experimentation phase; even past the drug-guzzling phase. You have been imbibing chemicals at a truly alarming rate - and I ain't talking about C6H12O6 nor C12H22O11 neither. What you've been ingesting has way too many Nitrogen atoms attached to it. Way too many, Dr. Benway.

This ain't no dream, Dr. I ain't no Dorothy, and you certainly ain't no Wizard. I recon I don't know about Chato - rhyms with toto, so maybe there's something there - 'spose it needs a little more exploring.

When you scoop some of that jelly-like smelly stuff from the prefrontal cortex, you ain't destroy'n anyone's reality - it all still exists, whether the poor soul can experience reality or not. I recon you still do this the old fashioned way - like what we done to poor Howard Dully. No sir, I read about a man who got fantastic results with a Dremel, a 3mm drill bit, and something that looks like a slightly bent paper clip - except it's really a 4" piece of spring steel with slight bend over the last 1/2".

Ain't you got any thoughts on this Dr. Benway? I sure hope you re keeping up to date with the latest psychiactric procedures. You know, those government hacks are always looking to yank your ticket if you ain't keeping up to date on things, Dr.

You poor stupid jerks. Ultimately there is no USA, never was any twin towers, hippies, junkies, crab lice, expanding universes, shrinking wallets, non-core promises or anything else! It's all in yer stupid friggin minds!

It was a conspiracy of truly monstrous proportion. A cabal of jewish financiers and Freemason adepts, along with some renegade Black Panthers, had insinuated themselves into Osam's inner circle.
They had a plan.
A diabolical calumnity. Be switching the godhead of money and power with fear and loathing, the Jews saw the possibility to allow their seemless takeover of world finance, eliminating any threat from the triads of China.
The Freemasons saw a way to once again regain their exalted status as top of the heap; they had fallen to such a level that the only World leader who was affiliated was one John Howard.
The Black Panthers hated whitey; always have, always will.

So, they convinvced our friend Osama who prior to 9/11 had no interest in terror, only prayer and his 15 wives. But once subjected to the teasing whispers of the fetid cabals spooks Osama's mind began to change.
Perhaps the US was the Great Satan!

And the rest they say is history. The coming apocalypse was precipitated by a ragtag bunch of hicks, hippies, and funny hat wearing freaks.

Not at all surprising, any of it! Here at the Recreational Psychiatry unit we have a motto, and it goes like this: Easy come, easy go. By that I mean we here at RP, just cut away whatever part of the brain gives the particular discomfort. Who gives a toss if anything is real? Never saw a problem I could not cut out, or electronically wash away. BTW, Doctor Chato, you and I should get together for a commercial chat - I suspect we are on much the same wavelength - if you get my drift...

It IS imaginary AND also rubber! However, no need to despair! With the arcane science fresh from the Chato Institute and the genius of The Reverend Doctor Chato, a heart-felt offering staring at a mere one hundred dollars can put you on the royal road to bliss. All contributions should be in cash and sent to: Rev. Dr. Chato, The Church of the true Science, c/- Xenoxnews, Baghdad, Iraqistan 666.

don't know nothi'n. I recon if someone has something to say of any importance they ain't gonna do any of the following"

1. make up sing-songy rhymes about it

2. put it to a tune of "achey breaky heart"

3. write about it on some obscure internet site

4. talk about rockets and balloons when they's really talking about dicks and titties

5. Put green compu-hair on it and call him "Jim".

I just say it the way it is. Nothing more, nothing less. I know who I like, who I hate, what I like, what I hate, who's ugly, who's beautiful, what's normal, and what's perverted.

If this is all too confusing for you, Docktor Benway, then I recon you really need my help. Place your sins with Jesus and your soul with me, and we'll get you rock'n an roll'n with Farmer Vincent.

I thought it was Kirribilli House Wine-Cellar Johnny who sucks the life "out of ya" for a small fee plus GST.
- Confused again

I don't know what you're driving man, but a John Howard fridge-magnet is about as reliable as one of non-core John's promises. I might trade it in for a more modern Ruddster. How about you stuff some nitro in John and run him down the quarter mile? He likes to look sporty in his little tracksuit. May as well have some fun with him, even if it blows his friggin ugly head off his block!
- Smarty from the Liberal Party

Just go ahead and top it off with 100% nitro. It ain't gona hurt ya. Git that sissy corn liquor out of there.

You drug-guzzling hippies and drunks always gotta be putt'n drugs and alcohol in everything - sucks the life out of ya.

Extremist? I'll tell you about extremist! I've put twin quad carbs and a positive displacement supercharger on my fridge-magnet, and that's after boring and stroking the sucker! Not only that, but I'm also running 50% nitromethane on top of methanol already! (fuck that sissy ethanol poof fuel)
See if those Iraqi WMD can catch me now. Ha! Ha! John's got form when it comes to non-core fridge-magnets!
- Smarty from the Liberal Party

They needed to cut the hearts out of the sacrificial victims to ensure a good crop of corn. If they picked weary old non-core John, they would have big trouble with his withered little black heart!
- Ex Liberal Voter

Patriot-II, you forgot to credit weary old John with the "welfare-to-warfare" reforms. He sure sucked some money there, but at least we are safe from Iraqistan WMD!
- Ex Liberal Voter

Yes Lordy, he can follow his victims down that filthy old creek. He better hope his canoe is not a non-core one!
- Ex Liberal Voter

Death. The only hope.

Float him off down shit creek...

Isn't it wonderful that Howard is on the way out , soon to be replaced by Labor's Kevin Rudd? It has taken Australians a little over 8 years to realize that Howard has destroyed everything good that Australians stood for. There will be no more unfair and barbaric treatment of refugees. No more exploitation of aborigines. No more warmongering with his evil mate GWB. No more unfair Industrial Relations laws. No more ignoring damage to the environment. Yes, no more Howard. I feel as ease now knowing that the Howard Coalition will be eliminated. Labor should win by such a landslide victory that when elected as PM, Kevin Rudd will be able to swiftly implement laws to bring Australia back on it's feet again and regain the good International standing that we once had with our neighbors. Ohhh....it feels sooo good.

I have a nightmare!
I have a nightmare, that one day this nation will lie down and live out the true meaning of its greed. And they will lie down and beg the globalist carpetbaggers to come and walk all over them once again. I have a nightmare, that the poor the sick and the old shall hear freedom thud as a spineless nation once again finds decency too hard. And when they hear that freedom thud, they will cry out in the words of the current Aussie spiritual: "Dead at last! Dead at last! Thank God Almighty, we are dead at last!"
- Martin

My treatments seem to be working! I always thought that an infusion of blended freshly aborted foetus would revive a demented geriatric geek in an emergency. He's looking good, but I doubt he can make it to the election though. Thank God the Howard clones are coming along! Trouble is - by the time of the election they will still be in nappies. Come to think of it, John wears nappies himself...

Too late Ricky, this big, desiccated, desert island has already been screwed by non-core John and his carpetbagger daleks! As long as Tired Old John doesn't take their footy away before the election, all is fine with the robopathic Oz wildlife (John-loving scum).
- Ex Liberal Voter

Lord, what I cold do with the biggest fattest Island on the Arse-End of the world!

Don't y'all know nothin? Both the Central/South American Pyramids, and the Egyptian Pyramids are totally religious. Pagan religious, that is.

Them little squat Aztecs and Incas used Pyramids to perform human and animal sacrifices for the purpose of insuring good crops and good fortune from their pagan gods.

The mixed-breed Egyptians used Pyramids to ensure a smooth transition from "life" to "afterlife" for the wealthy and for royalty. He who could pay the most contractors and artisians surely made it in good form to the afterlife.

Something about too much melanin in the skin must affect the size and quality of a race's brains.

That's because they are commie-loving, drug-guzzling, whoremongering, fornicating, liberals.

John Howard IS a Liberal, in every sense, and even in the classic sense. LIBERAL = LEFT! Your left-bent John Howard has stolen your rights, confiscated your firearms, continues to support programs that give money and resources to the unworthy and the lazy.

WHERE IS THE FIRE AND BRIMSTONE??? Damn the lazy and unproductive to hell, and make them expamples to be shunned and ridiculed!!! Damn the Drug-guzzling lemmings to hell and make them work an honest day's work on work farms. Damn the trouble making youth to hell, and if they can't embrace academics, put them on work farms too.

NOW IS THE TIME FOR LIBERALISM TO BE ABOLISHED AND TO USHER IN A NEW ERA OF FREEDOM AND RESPONSIBILITY.

It don't make no nevermind if the man's name starts with Howard, George, Fred, Mitt, or Rudolf. We's comm'n to git ya. The days of Haji, Habibbi, Mohammed, and Yuseff are numbered. You people cain't git one bomb off, and meanwhile we keep marching against you. The future will be glorious! The future will be ours.