THE SWINGERS! THE SEATS THAT WILL DETERMINE OZ ELECTION 2013

As Oz Election 2013 draws near XenoxNews.com is going to focus on the key swinging seats that will decide the fate of Tony Abbott and Kevin Rudd.

For this in depth review we have commissioned a leading polling company to survey the voters in these seats to identify what are the issues that concern them the most and who they will be voting for come next Saturday 7 September.

First up -  Deakin, Victoria

Situated in the lush green suburbs of Eastern Melbourne, this shithole is filled with periaptic pensioners and gawking Neighbours watchers. Well known as the last refuse of the brainless, this electorate is another prime example of the failure of democracy. Our survey of voting intentions identified the following as their main concerns for the new government:

-          The price of housing, or more accurately how much their house is worth,

-          the wogs next door,

-          the fact that their gay porn doesn’t download fast enough.

From our survey we expect that this place will go to Tony with a swing of 5.2%

Deakin. The neighbours’  "wife"

Next: Peter Slipper's seat of Fisher in Queensland.