THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING REGULAR

Your health is central to your existence and feeling of well-being. A healthy person has a clear mind and a properly functioning body. It should run like clockwork, and one obvious measurement of the ticking of this clock is your bowel regularity.

pussy time

How to achieve this regularity?

 

Well certainly a good diet is essential. High in fibre, essential minerals, and vitamins. Not too overstuffed with fats and oils. A diet that contains all the necessary foods of the nutritional pyramid, and all in the right proportions too.

And I myself have been following this advice down to the t. But while I have achieved regularity I still have a problem.

It is the timing of this regularity.

Ipso facto it is one hour before I awake.

You can imagine the predicament it puts me in. A healthy lifestyle is all well and good but clean sheets are important too.

 

dunny problems

No one likes to wake to the chocolate skidmark!

 

So dear XenoxNews.com readers is there anyone who can help me?

What’s a man to do about his regular problem?

 

Pooey Pablo,

Grenada

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  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 11 years ago
    Marry a coprophiliac. Keep you both happy.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 11 years ago
    Suicide will fix it. Never have to wipe your arse again.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 11 years ago
    Well assuming this story to be true, unlike the litany of lies this newspaper normally peddles, I'd say we have a case of spontaneous excretion. It happens only very rarely and has been associated with high levels of stress, prior intoxication with unusual herbal mixtures, or too much buggery.

    So Pablo, out with it. What's the real reason you perverted Spainish tart!
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 11 years ago
    Should have taken the corn https://www.xenoxnews.com/life-a-style/under-the-influence/3066-the-magical-mystery-of-cornflour
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 11 years ago
    Hey Pablo I got a little corkscrew in me pants that can fix your problem. Just roll over you Spanish cunt and let me fill your hole and your shit will flow out like it is on tap.
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 11 years ago
    Hey, Horny Harry, I git some news fer ya. You is goin away fer a long time fer exposin asio agent A.S. Williams, IT administrator at Monash University, fer her work at RG Casey. Dern't you never git 'tween yer gooberment when they is spy'n on Lebos 'n neferious whatnot. How many dern times you need a Dixiecrat ta tell ya - dern't go snoop'n 'round Monash U's internal IT department. Thar's bares in them woods, boy. Yessiree, thar is!!!
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 11 years ago
    Have they caught you there a few times Ricky? Looking up those naughty 'Kissing Cousins' pics? Why you peverted hillbilly!
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 11 years ago
    Forget the regularity... Now I'm suffering from the Piles!!!
  • This commment is unpublished.
    · 1 years ago
    Never heard again from Pablo. Must have been the end; 'piled to death' they say in the Latin.
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