Collage Researcher Gits New Organs....

Created: Wednesday, 25 March 2009 Written by Ricardovitz
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Monash researcher gits money fer new heart and kidney.


Dr. Benway, from thar Department of Epidemiology and Preventive Medicine, has rounded up some cash fer a new heart and kidney.  He's gitten it from China.  Gonna cost Aussie Tax Payers $5.39 million Aussie Bucks, and he claims its fer studying up o­n chronic heart and kidney diseases.

Some gooberment quack, Roxan Nicholes, says theys gonna git a research team to git this here tar babby a rockin and a rollin fer 5 long years.  That's what the grant's fer, five years.  Dr. Benway's gonna try out these Chinese imported bits and parts in his own dern body so's he can report about new ways to doctor chronic heart and kidney disease, thangs that affect a whole heep of Australians, including Aborigionees.  Even thar Sheriff and his Deputy, Ed Cornish is standin in line fer some new parts if the good Doctor gits it done right.

"It confirms Monash as an institution of research excellence where our Doctors and other folks work tirelessly to find solutions to their own health problems."

Dr. Benway's research will specifically cherry pick patients at who got money fer Chinese kidneys and hearts and other bits and pieces.  Additionally, Dr. Benway will take a lookey at the effectiveness of novel drugs, devices and stem cell therapies fer fixin these folks better than new. 

Medical Research Correspondent:  Ricardovitz