After being charged with drug trafficking, Diego Maradona’s family organised an intervention after which the star soccer player entered rehab. Not one for self‑reflection, Diego secretly checked himself out of rehab because, as he said, he was sick of talking about his childhood. So, in 1992, as an overweight 32‑year‑old, he decided that he would play football again.

Overnight, the Minns LABOR government here in my cooked home state of New South Wales handed police the authority to enact a blanket refusal of all public assemblies for up to three months after “a terrorist incident.” The police commissioner has the “discretion” to turn that power on and can extend it in two-week increments.

Here we go...

As reported by ABC News last week: ‘At least 15 people were killed, as well as one of the two gunmen, in the mass shooting on Sunday evening targeting Jewish patrons attending a Hanukkah event…’ Forty people were injured.

Attended by men, women and children, the Hannukah event was organised by Chabad, also known as Lubavitch, Habad and Chabad-Lubavitch, a Hasidic global movement within Haredi Judaism. As such, it is among the most extremist, ultra-orthodox of religious cults, denounced even by mainstream Orthodox Jews.

There have been some strange rumours about our Boxhead's romantic entanglements. Indeed resident hillbilly, and President Pedo admirer, Ricardovitz has outright stated that he thinks Boxhead is hitched. He was so taken by this idea that he has penned an ode to the putative Mrs Boxhead...

And he drove the fastest milk truck in the West!

Once upon a time rogues, barbarians and pirates roamed the earth, stealing, torturing, raping, vandalising and otherwise terrifying people who were otherwise minding their own business trying to feed their families and house them in comfort.

It seems the Lolita-loving President Trump is now out there pleading for Peace to be given a Chance all over this dark, damned world. Mighty nice of him you would think.