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I'm so depressed, boo hoo, I wish I was top dog again so I could shit all over everyone as is my want. I'm a really keen salesman, honest! Please, someone, anyone, give me something to do! Hey, how about I head some cushy federal-funded furphy claiming to address clinical depression? I know all about depression because I've fucked over just about everyone in Victoria not a member of the Melbourne Club. Please, give me my head-kicking job back, I'm sure there's still some overlooked essential public asset left to sell. Going, going... gone! Fuck, there goes Felicity again...

OK punk, I RISE to the challenge! (They don't call me MAX for nothing!). So, tomorrow night in the soggy hills it is, yes?!! I shall contact our seteemd colleagues to confirm et all. VIVA XENOX NEWS!

Actually, in my role as chief vet to the endangered species Liberal Party, I've felt quite envious of certain dogs I've treated. Their penises always seemed rather larger and - dare i say it - rosier than my own. In any case, Ms Asher remains unimpressed with my performance. Oh dear, there goes the practice!

Frankly, i'm shocked!

Really! Must you be so crude! And as for orifices, why, I had an anal probe that was simply marvellous!

Where do I sign up?

Don't talk to ME about nasal drips you goddamn penny-pinching leech-on-society-government-funded pea-sorting clinical research wanker! I was THERE, pal, i HAD that goddamn muddafugga shoved down my nose like a ferret down a rabbit burrow! I want my lung fluid BACK! Yeah, me and Pavlov's Dog, pal!

Is this about a cocaine dealer?

I fail to see the leftist sentiments in my comments. But then you are so far right in your world view everything would appear to be left to you.

Yugo!*You wanky elite illeterates!*I represent the views of the MAJORITY of people. We are sick of funding the 4-eyed, the deformed, the frocked, the fucking invading millions!*We want our money back!*And if you love those invading hordes...donate to ya local church!

Excuse me!!!*Weren't you paid?!!?*Didn't you get some high quality pharmaceuticals???*Didn't you get to gaze at my wonderful ass???? How long have you been on the dole??? As for Pavlov..well we probably have kept him alive for the last 10 years!!!

I do believe I once shared a personal revelation with Mr Jones in a public lavatory... a sweet man!

May God forgive you for saying "cervix".

I will pray for your sinful souls. May the good Lord grant you forgiveness and serenity for your slanderous diatribes against a moral, honest and sincere man such our fine Prime Minister. Mr Howard is a very good personal friend of mine and has been since our college years when he gave me a delightful hand-job in the boy's toilets. Mmm, Johnny, come back!

Hey! Its hot and sticky in here!

Lily livered leftie!

I post one piece on Howard and you call it an obsession? Sheesh. If you want a free holiday just murder your wife and children and make sure you get caught. Then all of us taxpayers will be shouting you a luxury vacation for the rest of your life.

I vont to be an ICEBERG!

Gwendoline, is that YOU?!

Now there's a fashion statement that no only looks good but feels good too! Let's hear it for Johnny B. Gone! Verily, his name is "Cunt"!

Dont woory MAx...mum cant spellk

Hey MAx!*Get ya beedy 4-eyes of my sweet Natasha...she only digs balck guys..so buzz off!

Good golly

Seriously now, I mean REALLY, the like of his ilk should BURN IN HELL - uh, hem, to paraphrase a known biblical something or other... fuckit.

Well, hell, the dickless old bugger may as well put his hand up for Prime Minister! Fuck 'em all!

Someone gotta be here. Haunting da end space.

just wonderin...

I demand a recess in my mind..a void if you will..fill it Chester...FILL IT!..ditto Yugo. Pleasurable crack...in the grey matter. Disturbing my annexions..caressing my serotonin receptors...within dese walls of twisted steel..nakey erections..all snakey..and full of rats... MAxGross..a most unpleasurable sensation..i do like

Hozwy Fellas!

HE is a mean of ill fortune.*AND bode do we reek of him?*GUIDING light of immoral certitude.

hey yugo!*you bigdickeye from o'space? yeh???

Yeah who took the photo?

Yes, a very astute camera angle... now THIS is the kind of sit we should be gettng into! More please!

WHO the hell is chester?

You are both EVIL! I say EVIL!

Inner-resting the camera man who chose, by blocking out a letter, to give the banner behind Jones some meaning.

This is good stuff; "That's going straight to the pool room!"

Must have been one hell of a crap you were having! Don't burst a blood vessel!

Gollyborgle bunga. The phrase you have just read has infected you with SUPER MEME. In 24 hours you will be unable to resist the compulsion to deposit all of your money in my bank account.

A meme is eating my brain right now!

Eeeek!

ASk yourself what do you meme?

What the hell! How did you know the phrase to counter Super Meme?

Blah Blahj Blahja

Maybe we should use the tunnel to extend the Melbourne Aquarium?

Dirty Blue Meme

No we are used by memes to propogate themselves. This is our only function. Memes have the biggest influence of all.

I suggest we ask Jeff Kennett to plug the leak... with his fat ugly HEAD! Better still, put him in there, seal both ends, and listen to him squeal like the redundant old bastard that he is! A fitting monument to his defunct empire of greed and deceit!