#AskBoxhead - A Touch of Harry in the Night

Thursday, 21 May 2015
Boxhead. The Man in the Box. Found wandering the streets of Darwin after a cyclone by XenoxNews.com. And since then he has been the go-to man for our readers. Any problems, questions, or whenever they just want some inspiration to live, they turn to Boxhead.
Today he helps out Irish drunkard Seamus O'Semaus...
Dear Mr Boxhead,
As a loyal Irish subject of Her Majesty and her inbred brood of useless, demented relics of past glory, what must I do to earn a royal guernsy in the form of a feckin' knighthood?
Seamus O'Seamus



Dear Seamus,

First up an apology for the late response. I don't know what that lazy arse editor has been doing, but I didn't get your question till now.

Now to answer it...

Do you really think they'd let a drunken Paddy like yourself get knighted and join the Royal Family?

Very fucking unlikely I’d say Seamus!

For you see the Royal Family of England is the pinnacle of human endeavour. A mob born to rule. The English Royal Family are a wonderland of morons, kiddie fiddlers, and plain old stuck-up toffs. Do you know how many cousins had to sleep with each other to create this mob that sits in Buckingham Palace?

There is no way they'd let Irishman join.

 wiilliam beard 1212536cwilliams great grandad

Behold! The result of hundreds of years of in-breeding the finest families of Europe.


So what to do Seamus?

Well I say why not start your own Royal Family? You could knight yourself and be King of the Emerald Isle! Just do what the Pommie Royals do; grab your cousins and start rooting. Once a brood starts to form you can claim yourselves as the Noblest family in Ireland.

And once you sit yourself on the that throne in Dublin what should you wear on your noggin?

Why a box of course! Just a little homage to yours truly.





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