Created: Monday, 23 October 2006 Written by Chato
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Uncle John gives Oz the third-world
lifestyle that it craves.

Just like Bangladesh or Ethiopia!
The rich flavour of tapeworm-infested
jungles in your very own kitchen!

Does the Howardland generosity ever stop?

Just when you thought it couldn't get any
better, here comes something special for
the ever thirsty Oz dullards.

Ostrichlia's finest will soon be fighting
each other to be first to get their lips
around their kitchen taps, and then to suck
deeply on the rich, silky paste that will be
piped direct to all the taps of the average
mister and missus Oz Dullard, and their
awful retarded spawn.

As usual, the genital wart-virus infected
Uncle John knows best, and he will have the
gratitude of many happy suckers of his
delicious "Howard's Premium Gold",
"Uncle John's Yellow Jaundice Juice",
"Howard's Brown Butt Beauty", and smooth,
satisfying "Howard's Colonic Cream".

This bounty from the diseased butts of the
sub-human herd will be returned in an
unstoppable virtuous cycle, as a permanent
reward for upholding freakdom, demonology,
and the Oz robopathic way.

For those who already have a taste for
rebirthed water, fresh-squeezed from the
richest of unflushable turds, and juicy
fart-fruit, there will be the glorious
"Howard's Fart Frothy", and the very
challenging and mysterious liquid known as
"Howard's Kirribilli Kidneys".

What other wonders will the future reveal to
the dull, glazed eyes of the robopathic,
novelty-craving dullards of Oz?