THE HOWARDLAND: A MORAL BEACON

Monday, 03 April 2006 By Chato
Killing two birds with as much
fairness as it takes.


John Wart Hogturd, the little
scrotum-seeking Oz PM, has very
generously responded to China's
plea for Oz uranium for civilian
use so that their existing uranium
could be diverted towards important
humanitarian use in their nuclear
missile program.

Wiping a tear from his eye, the
little crocodile explained:
"When I saw how much the Chinese
needed nuclear weapons to flatten
the disobedient province of Taiwan,
I just had to help them! It's the
only fair thing to do, and we can
strike a decisive blow against
those dark, sinister forces who are
for those who promote those who are
also against something or other at
the same time - I think."

Not satisfied with that, the good
little suckhole has pledged to
remedy the awful situation of the
working poor in Oz, and he sternly
expressed his moral mania with the
froth of advanced dementia forming
on his lower lip.

"I was horrified when it was
brought to my attention that many
of the poorest workers can just
barely afford to pay for both food
and their rent!
Fair go! They cannot have BOTH!
They must be fair and choose either
rent OR food.
They cannot be allowed to have
their cake and pay rent too!"

Kim Beachedwhalezly responded with
deep indignation, and said that he
would have more to say on the
matter one of these days, and that
PM Hogturd could rely on his full
support in any case.

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