ALBATROSS!

Created: Saturday, 09 October 2004 Written by Max Gross
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Sink the Suckhole of Steel!

It’s D-Day for Surrealia, and the small man of Australian politics has had the biggest lie of his mean and tricky career glaringly exposed by the final report of the head of the Iraq Survey Group, personally sent to Iraq by U.S. Pretzel George W Bush to find Saddass Hussein’s Weapons of Mass Destruction.

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Using forged evidence, devious speculation, cherry-picked intelligence reports, scare-mongering psycho-babble, deceit and deliberate lies, the Bush League went to war. And like a good little puppy hoping for a lick of the old dog's boner, Australia's tory government followed, nose to arsehole.

Here are the final, final findings in black and white: "The analysis shows that despite Saddam's expressed desire to retain the knowledge of his nuclear team, and his attempts to retain some key parts of the program, during the course of the following 12 years [after 1991] Iraq's ability to produce a weapon decayed”.

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The CIA's chief weapons adviser, Charles Duelfer, has confirmed in no uncertain terms that Iraq had NO stockpiles of so-called Weapons of Mass Destruction for at least a decade!

Jesus-on-a-stick! What's the awful bloody stink? Oh right, its the stench of sanctimonious liars and piles of bloody corpses!

Remember when White House national sicurity adviser Condoliar Rice warned in 2002: "We don't want 'the smoking gun' to be a mushroom cloud."

How about a bullshit cloud?

The Bush League’s “reasoning” for invading Iraq has morphed and drifted so much and so often, it’s obvious they’ve lied all along. They’ve turned from immediate threat to future threat. From WMD stockpiles, they’ve twisted into WMD programs, and now all that they can come up with is Saddam’s WMD intent! Well, fuck me!

What next? Will Bush claim he has a crayon drawing of a really big bomb – drawn in Saddam’s very own hand! – proving beyond doubt that Iraq was about to attack poor, helpless Amerikkka?!

The head of the Iraq Survey Group – the inspection team the Bush League themselves sent in with the U.S. army – has simply confirmed what every previous inspection team has been saying from the start: there is no evidence that Iraq produced any weapons of mass destruction after 1991. And contrary to the continuing barrage of solemn, straight-faced bullshit emanating from the Oval Orifice, Saddass didn’t even have the capability of producing such weapons.

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Of course Saddass wanted to have WMD goodies – mainly because he saw Iran as an o­ngoing threat – but couldn’t, because of the U.N. sanctions, because of the U.N. inspections, and because the whole bloody world was watching. And who called-off the United Nations and dismissed its hard thankless work? Yup, Presidunce George Dubya Bush, the potted plant in charge of Amerikkka.

So, let’s drop that furphy about

Saddass kicking out the U.N. inspectors prior to the U.S. invasion. That’s just another in a long, long litany of Bush lies. o­n 18 March 2003, the head of the International Atomic Energy Agency, Mohamed El Baradei, said he had been "advised by the US Government to pull out our inspectors from Baghdad". Declaring his intention to attack Iraq “at a time of our choosing”, it was Bush who told all aid workers, journalists and weapons inspectors to leave Iraq ASAP.

As for the Bush and Blair claim that U.N. resolution 1441 - which warned Saddass of "serious consequences" if he did not “disarm” - gave them legal and moral authority to go to war, that’s patent bullshit and always was. Where, in any thesaurus, dictionary or legal tome does “serious consequence” translate into “military invasion”?

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In any case, as U.S. Presidense Bush issued his get-out-town-by-sundown warning to Saddass, newspapers reported stocks surging three per cent at “the prospect of a quickly resolved war”. Days earlier, o­n CBS's "Face the Nation" (6 March 2003) venal Vice Presidense Dickhead Cheney said the fight would be "weeks rather than months”.


More than a year and a half and over a thousand dead Yank soldiers later, the o­nly issue resolved so far is the Bush League’s lie about Saddam’s urgent WMD threat: there wasn’t o­ne. As for Iraqi dead and maimed, Yanks can’t be bothered counting those. After all, those ungrateful ragheads coped with Saddass all those years, surely they can handle tens of thousands more victims of another careless, militant lunatic, right y’all?

Those stupid, war-mongering neo-CONS! It’s a behavioural phenomenon as well as a law of physics that the use of force always causes an equal amount of resistance. And now Amerikkka is STUCK!


As for Surrealia’s gung-ho, slippery, slimey Rodent PM, at a National Press Club speech o­n 13 March 2003, Germ Howard said: "I would have to accept that if Iraq had genuinely disarmed, I couldn't justify o­n its own a military invasion of Iraq to change the regime. I've never advocated that."

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Yes indeedy folks, "Disarmament, rather than regime change" was Australia's primary policy goal, he assured a sceptical public, most of whom were against the war. The historic record is there for all to see, to Australia’s eternal shame: regime change, liberation of the Iraqi people or humanitarian intervention were never The Rodent’s justification for joining in the Amerikkkan invasion of Iraq.

It must feel terrific to discover the reason you did something AFTER you've actually done it!

By mid-June 2003, we had Allan Behm, a former head of strategy at the Department of Defence with extensive experience in intelligence, saying that he, like many others in Canberra's large community of ex-intelligence and defence officials, believed the real reason for invading was to establish a pro-U.S. government in the Middle East, where hostility to the US runs high.

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Now that the final report is in, Howard (7 October 2004) took his cue from his mad mentor in Washingtoon: “there was a clear intention o­n the part of Saddam Hussein o­nce United Nations pressure had been relieved, to resume his WMD ambitions.”

Intention to resume? A far cry from the strident urgency and dire proclamations of imminent chemical, biological – and most idiotically! – nuclear

attack!

Scaremongering and warmongering in 2002, the U.S. Presidunce proclaimed: "Saddam Hussein still has chemical and biological weapons and is increasing his capabilities to make more," and "The evidence indicates that Iraq is reconstituting its nuclear weapons program." In September 2002, Defence Sicretary Donald Bumsfelt claimed the CIA had “bulletproof”evidence of “linkage” between Saddass with al-Qaeda. WOW! Armageddon, just the way they like it!

However, in the sane world, there were always doubts, provisos and contrary intelligence

reports, and by May 2003 the Bush League’s web of lies was well and truly unravelling as inconvenient facts continued to come to light. Still, the Bush and its his cronies kept at it like a bunch of chronic compulsive neurotics in extreme self-denial, with U.K. poodle Tiny Blur insisting he had "absolutely no doubt at all about the existence of weapons of mass destruction". And let’s not forget his ludicrous pre-war claim that Iraq could deploy weapons of mass destruction within 45 minutes, which apparently actually referred to a rather large hammer Uday used to keep in a desk drawer with a tendency to jam.

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Amid accusations that U.S. military action was against international law, Bush said: "It is not a question of authority, it is a question of will". In other words, “Fuck you, Jack, we’ll do whatever the fuck we want.” Praise the Lord! Pass the ammo!

By June 2003 even that fanatic Deputy U.S. Defence Sicretary Paul Wolfshitz had admitted that "for bureaucratic reasons, we settled o­n o­ne issue, weapons of mass destruction, because it was the o­ne . . . everyone could agree o­n" to publicly justify the war. And Vince Cannistraro, a former CIA chief of counterterrorist operations, revealed that serving intelligence officers believed it was a scandal that the Pentagon played up "fraudulent" intelligence.


On 16 June, with Saddam’s WMD mirage fading in the bloody sand of Iraq, our very own mean and tricky Rodent PM, had changed his tune, declaring “We went to war in a just cause, o­n a proper legal basis, to liberate an oppressed people”. The motivations and reasoning of the Bushies first blew this way, then that, as if nobody would notice the big fat elephant in the middle of the room: no WMD!

Mission accomplished? Triumph of the dill!

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Before, during, and after the invasion there were plenty of observers reminding us that Bush planned "regime change" in Iraq before becoming United States President in January 2001. The events of September 11, 2001, were the pretext for invasion of Iraq, not the reason. The blueprint for the creation of a "global Pax America", to which Bush subscribes and which is driving the invasion of Iraq, was drawn up in September 2000 for Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz, Jeb Bush (George's younger brother) and Lewis Libby (Cheney's chief of staff). The document, called Rebuilding America's Defences: strategies, forces and resources for a new century, was written in September 2000 by the neo-conservative think tank Project for the New American Century. For these fanatics, 9/11 was a godsend. In their sick minds, probably literally a “godsend”.

Astute critics twigged from the start that the Bush regime was relying o­n a highly artificial and contrived analysis of the resolutions. Critics were also spot o­n with warnings of the first likely consequence of invading Iraq: more terrorism.

 

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In the face of unavoidable fact, Bush and his cronies continue to rant about the “safer world” they have created by invading Iraq, while at the same time reminding as that their alleged “war o­n terror” has no end date.

With Osama Bin Laden nowhere to be found, al-Qaeda cells – and countless other disgruntled terror groups - apparently still operating with impunity, and a thuggish U.S. puppet in charge of Iraq, how safe does THAT make you really feel?

And with the latest terrorist attacks in Egypt - aimed at Israeli holidaymakers - blamed o­n bin Laden's deputy al-Zawahiri, who called o­n militants to begin resistance against U.S. forces and Israel before they "invade Egypt, the Arabian Peninsula, Yemen and Algeria", the issue of TRUTH rather than mealy-mouthed TRUST couldn't be more pressing.

If the Rodent wins the 2004 election, Australia is fucked. If the Shrub wins in the U.S. next month, the world is fucked.

This was Max Gross for xenoxnews.com, shaking up a vodka spritzer, pissing in the ballot box, and passing out in the back yard. Wake me when it’s over.