The Tundra is Thawing. What is next?

Monday, 22 June 2020 By Weather Bureau

Getting hot in Siberia.

Weather that wasn't meant to happen for another 80 years.

What's gunna happen when the Tundra melts?

 Siberia temps


Well we can tell you. Here at the Xenox Weather Bureau we have crunched all the numbers. Squinted at the clouds. Gazed at the rain gauge. Tallied up the temperature measurements.

And our conclusion?

We are Fucked.


Here are some of the possibilities as the big Arctic Melt starts...

- There could be a massive Methane release from all the trapped gas escaping from the thawing permafrost. It could be so much gas that it will be enough to displace the oxygen from the atmosphere and choke us all. Imagine that; Capitalism choking us on it's farts.

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Artist rendition of Fat Capitalist farting out the pure methane.


- Nuclear meltdown. Russia's has numerous Nuclear Reactors built on the Perma Frost. The ground melting is going to melt down the core, making Chernobyl a walk in the park.

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- Release of previously frozen organisms, including giant viruses, that could infest us all. Think COVID-19, but with massive pain and many more millions infected and dying.

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This is what it will look like when the giant viruses start leaving your body to infect others...


-The immediate rise in global temperatures will expedite the collapse of the massive Antarctic glaciers causing a rapid and extreme rise in sea level of several metres. Cities will be swamped, and countless millions flooded away.


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With a Royal Flush of fuckwits in charge, and the insatiable insanity of capitalism driving us off the cliff edge, there is no hope.

Offend-o-Meter: 5 / 5

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