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@Hell Raising HansMaybe they could dig up your old Grandpappy and his mates and send them to the Donbass. Could save Zelensky's testicles.

All I can say is... Bring back the Fucknuckle!

https://www.xenoxnews.com/local/rudd-watch/3113-fucknuckle-remains-coy-on-return-to-politics

A singing and dancing fool. ScoMo deserves to be danced off the political stage and into electoral oblivion!

Vote Palmer!

Well that seems a strong Manifesto from PM Morrison on Good Governance and prosperity for Australia. I reckon he has got my vote.

Alan, Alan. My mum used to like him. He had a lot to say and knew everything. He'd make a good PM I reckon.

RICARDOVITZ!!!  A vote fer Ricardovitz is a vote fer thar free future of gun-lov'in Australia.   Free Gunz fer everone. Come 'n git 'em 'fore them Russians do.

How could you vote for that clown Albanese. As recent events have shown, he doesn't have the nounce or knowledge to run our great Country.

Digger,
Cranbourne

Really excited about this election. I think it will be a real game changer for our mighty nation. I'd say it will cause as much difference as when Rudd took over from Howard. That is, sweet fuck all.

So get out there and don't vote. Unless it is for the Shining Path.

Seems those Diggers didn't defend long enough...

Run out of the country with the Yanks by the bearded bums of the Taliban

Look at that cunt at the top. Who wouldn't want to dropkick his fucking round head right into the Tiber?

Fucking right wing/fascist Catholics are the scum of the Earth.

Hillsong tain't too smart. 

Let them's who's gooberment keep all thar guns 'n ammo from 'em bend o'er 'n start collect'n speed'n boolits with their assholes.

Things we have learned from the Ukraine situation:

"Let him who is without sin cast the first stone" = Whataboutism

Ya mean that Gooberment trail?  It run through land west of my Family land. We dern't pay it no nevermind; not less folks stray off the Gooberment path.  Cain't no city slicker traverse a chain right 'er left of that Gooberment trail without gettin tharselves kilt. Some folks find that thar trail ta be a source of valuable supplies.  I dern't need nothing from them forigners. Keep my workers real secure from ever bother'n them Gooberment trail folks.

Anywhere near the Bill Bartram Trail Ricky? You know, where you and your sis used to play hide the tiny weenie...

Randy, you come on down 'n I'm a gonna give you alls my money.  Fact of o matter is I need a good feller like you, Randy.  On my plantation, you is what we call a "gem mine".  A real giver.  I git $11,325.22 jest a wait'n fer ya.  Find yer way down er up er whatnot tar Warwoman Dell, 'n I'll be wait'n with cash 'n a dorm room fer ya to stay at. Jest a 15 minute drive from Warwoman Dell, 'n you is gonna be rich 'n happy.  Happy, happy happy.  Yessiree!!!

I am a saint. Give me all your money. God says so.

CaLL IT THE HORN AND HAVING A HARD FUCKING HORN WHETHER FUCKED BY GOD OR THE DEVIL.

A VERY HARD HORN. YOU KNOW...KNOB ACHE INDUCING.

AGAIN, WHETHER FUCKED BY GOD OR DEVIL DOES NOT MATTER, JUST CALL IT THE HORN.

A VERY HARD HORN. In fact.

aND THEN DIG THAT POLISH PRICK UP AND FUck him good and proper. CAuse he was a priest and supposedly they never 'ad a good fucking. He was also a cunt so fuck him for the el Salvador people he killed directly and all the shit his lying fucking Polish Prick ways spent.

And by the way... That cockroach looks like his mother from Lodz.

We dern't need no Commie Pope - JESUS SPEAKS TO ALL OF US.  REPENT OR GIT SKULL-FORNICATED BY THAR DEVIL!!!

Yer's goi'n tar HELL, boy!!! The only fornicat'n you is gonna git is strayt from thar Devil. He tain't gonna bother drill'n yer acehole.  No, he done told me he's gonna drill ya a bran-new hole at the base of yer skull with his diamond-dust-dick-drill fer fire-spray'n fornicat'n. 

That Polish prick. Hope the cockroaches are gnawing on that cocksuckers bones somewhere.

@Hyman RothNonsense. He has been crushed! Humiliated! The Ukrainians have led a magnificent defense of their homeland and will soon be rolling back Putin's demoralised hordes all the way to Moscow.

Mark my words, Putin will be gone by the Solstice!

I still think once Putin had consolidated control of the Black Sea coast that is where he will stop. Ukraine will be a smaller, land-locked country and the rest of the world - for all its sanctimony and outrage - will move on. It always does. And if Putin is a "war criminal", what does that make George W Bush who lives in idle freedom while Afghanistan and Iraq remain in bloody turmoil? Putin will have to do a lot more harm than he currently is to be able to beat that record.

Fucking born again Christians. The cause of so much shit in this world. Tell those happy clappers to fuck right off.

@RicardovitzSpank a Baptist! And out will come the spirit of a demon. There is no doubt.

Repent now you tub of lard Southerner! Get on your knees and kiss the ring of our most Holy Father!

Catholics 'n Satanists is 'bout thar same thang.  What Australia needs is a good 'ol Southern Baptist.  Vote fer Ricardovitz Prime Minister - Good crush'n Evil all thar way ta GLORY!!!

Has the water receded? What signs did it leave behind? The cleft hoof of the Beast no doubt!

Australia. Your sins are being tallied and an appropriate punishment will be dispensed.

Your only hope? The return of the good Catholic boy Tony Abbott to leadership.

You have been warned.

We are like comatose, walking around. Stumbling and bumbling to the break of dawn and/or end of the world.

Any one going to wake the sleepwalkers?

What happen Ricky? Fall asleep and your fat hillbilly head landed on the keyboard?

New ASIS Applicant here, boys 'n girls.  Yessiree, I reckon if'n I is serious 'bout fix'n Australia 'n bein thar next Prime Minister, I better git ta know'n whats what with thar who's Aussie who. 

So, I put in my ASIS application 'n whatnot.  Dern't believe me???  Here's my ASIS security key.  Now y'all know I si thar real deal.  Help'n Aussie Folks anyway I can - RICARDOVITZ FER PRIME MINISTER

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Lordy - he ask me a dern good question, thar. I'm gonna answer it fer ya by tell'n ya what yer parties dern't do that I'm a gonna do:

- Git you thar freedom ta own guns, ammo 'n weapons fer defending yerself 'n yer countrymen from attacks by neferious nations like China 'n Russia
- Take tax money away from thems not deservin, 'n use it tar build desalinization plants.  BIG ONES 'n LOTS OF 'EM!!!  Gonna run 'em with free sun-power.  'N we ain't gonna use that de-saltified water fer shitt'n 'n clean'n dirt-devils.  We is gonna pump it 'n sprinkle it on Australia's desert 'n re-greenify Australia tar its former glory!!!
- We is gonna join thar Dixie Nations.  Borders dern't mean nothing no more.  Thar South is thar South, 'n Austraila is the southest.
- Then, I'm gonna send a special Aussie Agent to Moscow to shove a sharp rusty shank into Putin's left eye.
- Everone in Ricardovitz Party also git a free T-Shirt.  Says "RICARDOVITZ PARTY"

Them's jest a li'll taste of what Australia got comm'n with RICARDOVITZ!!!

Ricky you like to think of yourself as some independent minded-dont tread on me-freedumb loving kinda guy. But in reality you just play follow the leader from DC, and give your 2 minutes hate to who ever is the latest Bad Guy your Yankee President has decided on.

So why would Aussies vote for just another dumb Yank from Idiot Land, when they have 2 political parties that do exactly the same as you?

That's a new party in town, boys 'n girls!  Yessiree, thar Ricardovitz Party.  That spelt R I C K A R D O V I T Z.  Dern't forgot the !!!, cuz y'all know what that code fer.  So, git yer ammo belts on, 'n them guns slinged over them shoulders 'n stomp on down tar the polls - tell 'em you want RICARDOVITZ fer prime Minister of Australia. Gett'n it Right, 'n kill'n off ever thang what's wrong!!!

Oh, 'n one more thang.  When y'all elect me, I'm gonna personally go to China and shank that Xi Jinping with a 2-foot rusty nail 73 times.

What is it, about 3 weeks now? Doesn't seem to be much of an invasion. Seems all Putin has done is gone and got the natives upset. Hard to see him winning anything out of this.

@Ludwig Von Bacon Won't make a lick of difference. The ALP would just mutate ever slightly and become the new Libs.

Australia’s best and only hope is the total erasure of the LNP as a political force

@FlimFlamManNot likely. Definitely.

"Cans at Canne"

I reckons next times have a can at Canne River.
I think I Canne, I think I can, smuggle a carton in the suitcase
Drink them on the bus.
Here's the cue for the river!
Running down to the driver as he hit the brakes.
Wasn't me bro. Was me other. Me other brother from Karratha.
Hey let me off at Cabargo.
I wanna Kumbyah them on a uke-a-wailey.
Fuck dickhead. Glad to see his demise. Cunt.

Don't have enough choppers to go out and rescue people but dickhead Dutton wants to get some nuclear submarines. What a dumbarse, fucked up place is the LNP Australia.

Problem is, it would very likely be the same if the ALP was in charge.

Flee! Flee for your lives!

It's done and dusted! The Russki's are finished! McDonald’s has announced it will temporarily close its restaurants in Russia!!!

Putin can't lose! Check this out:

"European oil receipts boosting Putin’s war chest by $285m a day, study finds
Arthur Neslen Arthur Neslen

Vladimir Putin’s war in Ukraine is being bolstered by $285m (£217m) in oil payments made every day by European countries, new analysis by the Transport & Environment (T&E) thinktank has found.

Russia received $104bn from its crude, petrol and diesel exports to Europe last year, more than twice the $43bn it took from gas shipments, the study estimated.

The analysis by the European clean-transport NGO was published shortly before the US and UK moved to ban Russian oil imports, and as Shell announced plans to shut down its Russian petrol stations and oil spot purchases.

“Gas is understandably a worry, but it is oil that is funding Putin’s war,” said William Todts, T&E’s director. “Relying on it leaves Europeans dangerously exposed to rising prices in an increasingly uncertain world.”

Europe’s dependence on Russia for about a quarter of its crude oil imports has helped to spur US pressure for an import ban, even as Brent crude prices have surged as high as $139 a barrel.

Russia’s deputy prime minister, Alexander Novak, said on Monday that any rejection of Russian oil would have “catastrophic consequences” and could send prices as high as $300 a barrel.

Europe imported more than 200m tonnes of oil from Russia each year between 2004 and 2017, even increasing its purchases in the two years after Russia seized Crimea in 2014."

No sweat. Australia will send it's notional nuclear submarines to Ukraine's aid... in 2040!!! 

Nuke'n Putin....Nuke'n Putin
Gotta Nuke, Nuke Nuke me a Putin'
Git me a Russian
Kill me a Putin
Gonnna git me a seat at thar Prime Minister's
swill line, yessiree, I am. 

Gotta Nuke Russia - Tain't no other way, boys 'n girls.  It's sorta like that game wen drunkards git pulled over by the po-po. "Hey, boy, wen I says go, you hit yer horn fast as ya can.........GO,[color=#C10300] HONNNNNNNK[/color]".  That wern't fast 'nuff boy.  Y'all rememver that? 

So, git all sobered up, 'n SMAK THAT RED BUTTON 'FOR some Russian hits his. Yessiree, boys 'n girls.  I git the good war strategy, that's why y'all is gonna vote fer Ricardovitz - Prime Minister of Australia!!!

@Harry Bismarck JnrI agree Harry. A firm German hand to guide us all is what we all need!

And I am happy to be on the receiving end of one if it is a lovely Eva from Bavaria who is dishing it out! All dressed up as one of them beer dispensing waitresses please!

Hmmm... I can already feel my foam coming to it's head...

Back soon. Just cleaning.

Hairy Fucknuckle (former Aussie PM)

It's like watching 2 drunk men fight. Lot's of swings and misses and eventually they will both fall over.

And that's when the Germans will walk in.

"long expected" invasion? I dunno Max. I am happy to put up my hand and say I didn't think Vlad would invade, no matter what Yankee intelligence said. Can understand him being pissed at the Yanks given that they boss Ukraine around like a pimp with his whore, but didn't think he was dumb enough to do it. How is he gunna win this? Even if he conquers the whole country? Crazy.

@FrostyYep. And the Ruskies and Ukies wont be the only ones crying.

Oi Ranger Rick have you signed up as one of Fat Clive's wigged out muppets yet?

All's well that ends well, an old Pommy once wrote. Well this shits gonna end in a fuckling flood of tears